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Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 82 total)
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  • June 10, 2016 at 10:49 am in reply to: Depressed due to guilt and fear #106863
    humour
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    Hi Ravi,
    I am not sure about your nature I.e.if you are generally a happy person and if only the last few years have been depressing. If that’s the case I guess you’ll figure out a way to get rid of your challenges, eventually.
    I have been mildly melancholic/thinking deeply most of the time, especially when left alone. Also a self critic but not a healthy one. I am aware of these now and trying to change, although it’s hard.
    From your post I can sense that you could be a negative self critic yourself.
    I know that when I am through with my current challenge, I will face another one and then another. I feel thats the way of life. Some challenges are easier to handle than others. It helps me if I think of them as part of the learning process and try my best not to go into ‘i deserve it’ mode.I used to fight hard at every challenge, taking life so seriously ( I still do because it’s so ingrained) but now I have no strength left. I was watching an astrology video recently in which the astrologer said something so appropriate. This is a gist of what she said. It’s possible to be an optimist or a pessimist but there is also a neutral state in between. People who are able to stay positive always, very good for them. Those who have a tendency to go into chronic depression or criticising oneself often will find it difficult to jump back up to the positive state. It’s good to maintain your energy at a neutral state. Falling into the state of sadness several times can make it tough to get back to neutral. Once you sense that the depression is setting in, do something, do anything to get to the neutral state, like taking a walk,meditating, watching funny videos or whatever works for you. I am learning this the hard way. I realised that I am emotional and sensitive and at every challenge, I react the way I know best, emotional touchiness in my case. It’s draining me physically and mentally. Now, I try my best to get back to neutral.
    You must be going through the toughest trial in your life right now, not to mention the regrets and other things but try to stay neutral. I know how hard this can be but for your own sanity try not to lose control of your mind. Try your best not be your own worst critic. You seem to be a good guy. I hope things get better for you. Take care.

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 11 months ago by humour.
    June 9, 2016 at 10:21 am in reply to: Fear of losing parents #106804
    humour
    Participant

    I am sorry for what you are going through north.
    Good advice there. Its been a while since I made this post. Right now I am feeling much better about’ death’ and ‘unknown’ and stuff along these lines than I did earlier. Thank you for your reply. Really appreciate it. And take care.

    June 9, 2016 at 10:11 am in reply to: Internet debate gone horribly wrong – trauma, ruined conscience #106802
    humour
    Participant

    Glad to know you are doing better Mete. I am still finding it difficult to deal with it. I hope it gets better for me as well. Good luck with your studies! Take care.

    June 1, 2016 at 10:52 pm in reply to: Job Interviews Discouragement #106277
    humour
    Participant

    Hi mnml,
    Things will definitely get better. wishing you the best!
    And the rest of you who replied, thank you for the wonderful advice. It helped a lot!

    May 28, 2016 at 6:42 am in reply to: are fear, sensitivity and authenticity mutually exclusive? #105839
    humour
    Participant

    Hi Gary,
    I read your blog on the litany against fear and the litany of love. Its beautiful. Do you repeat these lines(the ones in your blog) everyday, sort of like meditate on them or do you put it up where you can see it everyday.

    “A person of higher nature goes through it and out the other side in order to remove the threat permanently.” Wow!
    I want this statement to manifest in my life. I’ll do my best! Thank you for the wonderful article Gary 🙂

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 11 months ago by humour.
    May 28, 2016 at 6:27 am in reply to: Diet to boost the immune system?? #105838
    humour
    Participant

    Hi Enchantra, I am glad you are doing fine now 🙂 The doctor prescribed a rich protein diet for me as well. Thank you for the link to the article! I will go thorugh it.
    Thank you for sharing your experience marliv 🙂 I will look up Spirulina. I live in a polluted city as well 🙁 My allergies most often lead to wheezing. Right now, I am much better than i was in the last year. Thank you for writing out all the ingredients you use and especially sage tea(haven’t heard of this one). I’ll look it up.

    May 28, 2016 at 6:10 am in reply to: Depressed due to guilt and fear #105837
    humour
    Participant

    Hi Ravi,
    I am sorry that you are going through so much misery. If you think of someone as your soulmate and if things don’t go your way it can feel horrible. In spite of the emotional anguish you are going through, its commendable that you got shortlisted in the first round of your exams. I am glad that you have your dad by your side to discuss your studies, plans and to love and care for, mutually. Do you think it would be wise to tell him about Jerry, even if not in depth, just casually? In some cases a loved ones words can provide immense solace to the heart. If you are just trying breath meditation, it can be tough especially when the mind is in autopilot mode feeling too many emotions. Guided meditation could help initially and there could be several on youtube or some meditation apps and you can choose a specific one. Since you articulate your thoughts so well, maybe you think of making some quick bucks by writing to a local newspaper or if you can find some online space to do so. This maybe a bad idea if it interferes with your studies, but from your posts I can see that it comes quite naturally to you and you have also mentioned that you are an avid reader. Even if not for money, just to de-stress and to explore the genres you might be interested in writing and to see if it could take you further in any way. Just a thought. Take care.

    May 10, 2016 at 11:23 am in reply to: are fear, sensitivity and authenticity mutually exclusive? #104164
    humour
    Participant

    Yes Anita. What you wrote finally closed the case for me 🙂 I really wish I knew it much before. I wonder why we have to go through painful experiences to learn to do/ not to do certain things in life. Anyway it’s upto me how I choose to label it- it need not be painful, it can just be a learning experience. It’s all in the mind I guess. Have a nice day Anita 🙂

    May 10, 2016 at 8:06 am in reply to: are fear, sensitivity and authenticity mutually exclusive? #104143
    humour
    Participant

    Thank you for your crisp answer, Anita 🙂
    Thank you for your thoughts Gary 🙂
    I’ve been thinking about this for a while but its all muddled in my head and I wanted hear from others.
    I keep wondering if its possible to be completely authentic and if sensitivity and fear justify un aunthenticity and many more thoughts like these but this line of yours “Sensitivity towards fear and authenticity, with discernment, enables a person to make informed choices” makes things clear. Thank you once again, both of you!

    May 10, 2016 at 7:53 am in reply to: Depressed due to guilt and fear #104139
    humour
    Participant

    Hi Ravi,

    I am sorry for what you’ve gone through and the frustrating situation you are in right now. I believe that you have not wronged her. Just having a few weeks of conversation with someone whether in person or online can be sufficient to develop feelings. Since you both know each other for three years and shared common interests, definitely there is an attachment. Attachment has nothing to do with sisterly love, friendship or a conjugal relationship. For instance I can be really attached to my mother and can miss her if she is out of town for a few days. You are feeling attached to her and missing her even more because she has stopped talking to you. Even if you have developed feelings for her beyond that of friendship, that does not make you a pervert, no matter what she says. Who knows, may be she has also developed feelings for you beyond friendship but denying it for various reasons. Maybe she is scared. You have no way to tell. I don’t think that she not talking to you has anything to do with your anger issues. Don’t beat yourself up for it. Since you say that for the last couple of years you have not spent time with your friends and don’t have a life outside of home or you didn’t have an opportunity to share with a sibling or cousins, you got rather close to her and now miss her. On the other hand, she must be in college now with a group of friends and also a sister with whom she can share stuff. Its rather hard for you that no one is understanding what you are going through and your mind keeps telling you, you are a pervert which is not true. At your age its even biologically normal to have such feelings. Whether things work out with her or not, don’t call yourself a pervert. Its normal to fall in love and its easy to fall in love. Don’t blame yourself for it.

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 12 months ago by humour.
    April 16, 2016 at 6:20 am in reply to: Fear of losing parents #102004
    humour
    Participant

    Thank you for sharing your feelings in the previous post, Vesper. Life does seem like a series of ‘new normals’- an experience followed by learning lessons and then another challenge with a different set of lessons to be learnt and so on. It’s a solace to know that we are all in this together at least in understanding(not understanding)birth and death even if we don’t share the complex weird life that happens in between. Thank you both Anita and Vesper for taking the time to share your thoughts 🙂

    April 15, 2016 at 8:22 am in reply to: Fear of losing parents #101939
    humour
    Participant

    It’s very thoughtful & practical of you to come up with possibilities in this matter. Haha.. It helps a lot to be practical rather than emotional, sometimes. There is nothing one can do other than ‘relax into this reality’. Have a nice day Anita:)

    April 15, 2016 at 6:52 am in reply to: Fear of losing parents #101930
    humour
    Participant

    Hi Anita, thank you for responding:) I guess the concept of mortality has sunk in. If you go back in time to childhood, you have this memory of them being strong individuals and then comes a time where you see them not as strong and its hard. Its the period of old age, suffering etc that I am finding hard to come to terms with.

    Vesper, I agree with you. Some fears are irrational while some are rational. Its true, we can’t stop anything from occurring even if we worry truckloads about it. All I can do is make good memories and spend time with them. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and the part about applying logic to filter out things we cannot change. Love and hugs to you 🙂

    April 13, 2016 at 4:53 pm in reply to: Fear of losing parents #101763
    humour
    Participant

    Hi Vesper,
    I would not say they’re in danger but yes they’ve had their share of health issues. I should say its a general concern.

    • This reply was modified 8 years ago by humour.
    April 8, 2016 at 12:20 am in reply to: Anxiety,Fear and scare #101253
    humour
    Participant

    Your mind did not generate these thoughts, blank. It is already out, there millions and millions of thoughts. Based on the state of our own mind, we pick or attract certain thoughts. If you have a teacher to help you through this phase it would be wonderful. It could be just mild OCD which can become more during trauma. Many people go through this phase. Try meditation, counselling etc. Just remember these thoughts are not you. Just keep the front and back door of your mind open and let these thoughts come and go. Don’t associate with them. Take care of yourself

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Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 82 total)
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