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Thank you Anita and Helcat for your encouraging responses, I appreciate it.
In answer to your question, Anita, I’m doing a little better thank you. Applying empathy to myself continues to be very difficult, however – especially during times of feeling more anxious. Do you have any tips to applying empathy to oneself? Generally, I don’t feel deserving of empathy in light of mistakes – even though I would certainly show empathy to a friend!
I’m also finding it hard to get my head round how negatively people in the media are treated having made mistakes, and feel that if they are being judged and treated so harshly, I too deserve the same ‘punishment’. We live in a very judgemental society these days, I feel.
Thank you for replying again.
Thankfully, for the pregnancy, the high levels of anxiety have reduced now and I am feeling less stressed. It’s interesting what you say about cortisol – this makes a lot of sense. I’m doing more research about giving birth and parenting, which is helping me feel less overwhelmed.
Thank you for your kind words about empathy in the situation – I’m trying to apply this to myself and trying to see that it felt as though I was a completely different person then. I’m trying to show kindness to the previous versions of myself – after all, they effectively got me where I am now. I would be far kinder to a friend if they were going through a similar situation. I don’t want to drag up old feelings for my husband in bringing this up again.
I read something very similar recently about how a bad parent wouldn’t be so worried about being a good parent, and that did provide some comfort – thanks for reiterating this!
We have most things we need in preparation for the baby – it’s feeling very real 🙂
Thank you for your reply. You make a good point in that ‘no one is perfect’ – this is something I am trying to process for myself. I think applying empathy to myself is something I must work on during my therapy sessions.
Many thanks for taking the time to respond
Thank you very much for your reply, I appreciate your kindness.
I’m currently in my third trimester, physically the symptoms have been ok, it’s just really taking its toll mentally.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>I think you’re right – I do feel like I’ve failed my husband and I think it’s effecting how I feel I can be a mother. It all feels a bit too good to be true and that I don’t deserve this happiness because of my previous actions – specifically because I wasn’t forthcoming with the whole truth for reasons explained previously.</p>
Self forgiveness is really difficult for me but it’s something I hope to work on in therapy. I like the idea of reframing my fears and thinking about how that makes me want to parent. I’m thinking now that I would just like the baby to arrive so that I know a bit more about what I’m dealing with, and it’s not so uncertain.
Thank you very much again for your response.