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prakashrajParticipantDear Shipp, It’s alright. I’m glad that i’n not the only one. Sometimes i feel embarrassed by this fear. Social phobia is one of my major issue too. Years of damage and I’m trying to cure them overnight. I know it doesn’t work that way. Perhaps the first most important thing i need to learn is ‘Patience’. Thank you Anita, Lacy and Norit.
October 19, 2016 at 4:51 am in reply to: Improving self esteem weakens your attachments and improves your contentment #118483prakashrajParticipantYour thread is really good and everything you mentioned here are the same things i have felt. I’ve been running low on self-esteem and confidence since years. Till my 6th grade i was socially connected with everyone and mischievous. I moved to a new school from 7th grade and things got a better. I was good in academics but on other side i lost contact with my best friends, became an introvert. Ever since then, when i tried to mingle with someone it felt like no one cared or i don’t seem to fit in.
Had a rough childhood because of my dad (domestic violence, etc). I’m not angry on him or blame him anymore. As i’m content with whatever he does for my education. I’ve always feared that i would be left alone like this for the rest of my life. Luckily I’ve never been in a relationship except for a one sided love madness which left me more lonely and depressed. I’ve managed to get help from here, but soon everything goes crazy with me as i feel peaceful. This site is amazing and i’ve learnt some great stuff. I thought i was the only one in the world feeling anti social and lonely, but once i surfed through the site, i learnt that there are millions of people who are broken, depressed and lonely. I thought this phase exists only in teenage but i think these symptoms come in us from time to time regardless of age.prakashrajParticipantI Thank you all for your valuable suggestions. Yes, Ma’am Anita can you please give me suggestions on micro approach? I’m in terrible anxiety, depression and loneliness since a long time, maybe months or years. I don’t know for sure. But i’m looking for possible ways and i end up beating myself for not finding a cure and curse myself feeling miserable. I’m living in constant anxiety everyday. I haven’t talked to someone open heartedly since years. If there are any suggestions you would like to give to improve my communication and bonding with people around me, that would be very helpful to me.
prakashrajParticipantFirstly, I would like to Thank everyone for sparing enough time to read my post and responding to it understanding the situation I am in. It feels great that these advices make sense according to my situation. So far for months I’ve looked for many solutions and nothing worked better as i expected. I would like to follow Peter’s words wisely, creating an empty space in my mind for the negative and positive feelings for my present situation seems to be going better. I won’t say it helped me overcome the problem in a second, but it did help me a bit today in improving myself and focusing on what is present right in front of me. And i know that improvement won’t happen in a day. It takes time and patience, so I’ll do my best to be patient. Most of the time I create scenarios in mind like “what-ifs, maybe,etc” which ends up screwing me the whole day mentally and physically Making me exhausted. Since its not possible to change everythingstt once, For now I’ll learn to focus on my thinking process. Thanks to Everyone. Can anyone tell me how do i get rid of this weird insecure feeling when i see this girl laughing with Other boys? It makes me broken from inside Everytime i see her with other boys. I know that it’s wrong thinking from my side. But how do i get rid of this weird selfish feeling which brings me down to broken heart? And further how do i respond to this girl if she approaches me in Future for anything? I’ll be honest here – I do still have feelings and i still think of some ‘maybe’s’ and I’m quite furious at her now but i have to give up on her to lead a better life. So how do i respond in future?
prakashrajParticipantHow do i get rid of this hatred towards people? When i’m alone i feel calm and happy by myself. When I’m around people it makes me feel insecure and frustrated. And maybe this is the reason I hate attending classes in my college. When I’m around my classmates or around people it triggers some kind of depression inside me. I don’t feel much of loneliness when i’m alone but when I’m around people i feel lonely. These feelings of loneliness and hate begin inside me. These thoughts make tired physically and i end up sleeping and procrastinating. How do i develop a calm attitude towards people whom i don’t like around me and start taking life a bit more seriously instead of leaving things for granted?
prakashrajParticipantHello Everyone. Thank you for the advice Anita and Inky. I appreciate that you’ve spared time to read my situation. And perhaps Having No contact and Distancing myself is the only choice i have now. I’m quite attached to her that i still have the desire of being in love with her and staying with her but i feel it’ll only make things worse for me and her. I’ll distance myself and move ahead. Thank you for taking time.
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