Hi Bill,

Thanks for your response.

This guy says that he had a relationship where the girl was dating two/three people and never told him. when he confronted her, she denied. Then after some time she was getting engaged and suddenly he was cut off from her life.

When we started talking he told me that he is over it. later one day he told me that he is not over it and we should hold because he doesnt want to do anything just to fill the void. he told this after 6 months to me. Then again one day he was back and initiating intimate talks. He didnt ask me if we can start again. I didnt really speak up for myself or question him about it. We didnt talk much. We again started talking after 5 months and when he would be emotionally available he would interpret it as me wanting commitment, which wasnt the case. I just wanted to know him and be into something which i was doing. Anyway, then he started telling me that he was looking for an open relationship. I could have left but my fixation with things kept me there. Then one day, he was casually talking to me when i got to know that he is seeing someone. i got very angry. for the first time, i told what i actually felt, not completely but still i tried. we discontinued talking. He was back after 3 months when he broke up with that girl. I asked what happened, he said its complicated. i stil felt like shouting and but i didnt. We talked, he was still emotionally unavailable, but this time he was telling that he wanted to have a serious relationship. I felt very angry that i m not an object that u can decide that i want this now or i want that now. But i still didnt say anything. I kind of still wanted it. After that, he was emotionally responsive, more than before, but not enough. I was still feeling miserable. So, i stopped it. Something happened to me, and i decided to ask him about all that happened before and why he did what he did. When i asked him he took no responsibility of anything, he said that it was all too hazy for him because its in the past and why am i venting. i felt so insulted that i didnt really ask all the things.

I just  left, blocked him everywhere and decided that i was done with being insulted, humiliated and treated poorly.

I changed cities for this guy only when he asked once, i know thats my fault. But i feel so bad for myself and feel like i dont value myself enough. i think he will not even remember that he ever asked me to move if i tell him. i came to aconclusion now.

But because of all this, i am just very bitter toward everybody especially men.

one good thing out of this is because he didn’t take responsibility, i understood where i went wrong. and i should have prioritized myself over everything.

but i dont want a bitter life, i want a,loving and healthy relationship. Sometimes i feel that i gravitate towards stuck situations like the above.

I have stopped all communication, deleted the contact, so that there is no chance that any communication happens but it s still on my mind. I am not able to get it out of my mind.

Thanks.