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Anon Ymous

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  • September 6, 2015 at 9:55 am in reply to: Does she not have feelings? #82951
    Anon Ymous
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    @bostondad420
    seems like, if you’ve asked her nicely to stop calling and texting, you’ve already done all you can to get her to understand. the main thing now is for you to keep moving on for yourself.
    remain firm in your resolve to get what you need out of life. part of that involves learning to move on from worrying about what she thinks or understands. you’ve done all you can, this is probably the final step in moving on from her: letting her figure the rest out on her own, while you keep moving on with what it is you’ve figured out for yourself.

    September 5, 2015 at 5:56 pm in reply to: My heart feels like I had an invisible bullet that went through it…help. #82905
    Anon Ymous
    Participant

    Imagine for a second that each person’s faith is like a different language, individually different to each single person(no one ever feels their own faith in the same way, and no one would ever translate the dogma of religion in the same way either). Some people may equate the word “gay” with “hell” and others equate the word “gay” with “love”. If they’re your family, and they equate the word “gay” with “hell” then they probably also do so in order to communicate “love” in some roundabout way(thinking that by warning you of what they fear about hell, they are showing their own kind of love).
    Eventually, all that should matter in ‘coming out’ is that you feel this love for your self, independent of anyone. So let that love you feel for yourself guide you, and no matter what people think or say, your heart will remain strong, on a path between all these imagined constructs of heaven and hell, all that truly matters is love. Love yourself, and those that truly matter and understand, will follow.

    September 5, 2015 at 5:42 pm in reply to: Does she not have feelings? #82901
    Anon Ymous
    Participant

    Going through the same thing after an 11-year relationship(she announced the divorce over the phone, then 2 weeks later was already sleeping with someone else…). It hurrrrts. Baaad. And she said what folks here are guessing, to me: that she had been thinking about it for awhile. Next question I had on my mind after that is: why couldn’t she have communicated better with me all along? The truth is I already know: she does have feelings, the problem lies in how she’s choosing to deal with them, and how different that is from how I choose to deal with my feelings(her way: closed-in-by-fear vs. my way: out-in-the-open-and-brave).
    But eventually, it feels better just to work on restoring my faith in love by keeping whatever dignity I have and moving on in my own way. It can happen faster than you think, too. But never fast enough, hehe. Still, the best thing seems for me to keep moving. Such is life: change, and learning to deal with change.

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