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My heart feels like I had an invisible bullet that went through it…help.

HomeForumsTough TimesMy heart feels like I had an invisible bullet that went through it…help.

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Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 31 total)
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  • #82764
    Anonymous
    Guest

    No, I do not believe in the bible as being inspired by the biblical god. I don’t believe in the god referred to in the bible. I don’t believe in afterlife, heaven, hell, paradise earth, ghosts, reincarnation, none of that. I believe in what I see: nature, natural laws, science when it is objective and honest. I do not pretend to know more than it is possible for me to know.

    Regarding what the bible says about homosexuality, Chapters 18 and 20 of Leviticus contain the following verses:
    “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.” and “If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.” So there.

    Regarding your grandmother and your father: both know you are dating a girl, you say. And they both know that you are a girl. This means they both know you are practicing homosexuality. Either one may think you are only going through a phase, experimenting and that you will return to your senses later, or be Saved and so forth or be Healed. It is very unlikely that you can get a bible-believer to NOT wait for the time you will be Saved and Healed. At best result you can get is that a bible believer will be kind to you and remain in contact with you and pray that you will change (be Saved. Healed).

    anita

    #82774
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Helen, Everyone believes things differently and that is ok. I do remember reading in the Bible though what Anita did quote. Thanks for that Anita, I know that is what it says. Helen, I do want to tell her because I want her to know, she needs to know. I know she might say that she already did, but I know that if she still cant accept it after I tell her that this is who I am and that it is not a phase that I will be ok with it. I may get hurt again, but I wont hold onto it. And I will be ok. Same goes for my dad. I know this and I have learned that I have to accept that. Thanks for your support Helen.

    #82775
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Anita, Thanks for putting that in there and letting me know what you do and don’t believe. I know that is probably what is going through their heads and that is fine with me. All I care about is that they can learn to accept me for who I am and not judge me all over again, but if they do its their loss not mine.

    #82778
    Anonymous
    Guest

    My input is that your expectation that “they can learn to accept me for who I am and not judge me all over again” may be unrealistic. If your grandmother is very invested in the bible with its abomination for homosexuals, she is NOT likely at all to accept you or learn to accept you. To accept you for being a homosexual/ gay, would mean to NOT accept the bible. Which is likely to happen: her accepting you OR continuing to accept the bible? If your father is not highly invested in the bible and if his homophobic feelings are not all- consuming, he may make an exception for his little girl.

    anita

    #82809
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I know that it is unrealistic because my grandma does believe in the Bible and she believes homosexuality is very wrong. I am not sure if she will accept me, I want her to but she believes the Bible and is strong in the belief of homosexuality being wrong so I am expecting her to not accept me. That is ok with me, I just want her to know that this is who I am. As for my father he has read the Bible many times, and he is against homosexuality as well. That is why he was so rude to me when he found out I am dating a girl. But he did say he still loves me and always will. So maybe he will learn over time to accept me even though he is against it?

    #82837
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I would not push it with your father, that is, after you tell him in no uncertain terms that you are gay, I wouldn’t KEEP telling him that again and again. You already told him. If he treats you respectfully and does not give you any negative talk about you being gay- I would drop the issue from your conversations and interactions with him. It really is not his fault that he FEELS negatively toward homosexuality- he can’t help what he feels just like you can’t help being attracted to girls. So why give him a hard time?

    So after telling him (and you did)- don’t keep telling him. If you are about to get married to a woman, you can let him know that- significant things about your life, but otherwise talk with him about other, real aspects of your life.

    Same prinicple with anyone, really, tell them once and if they do not mistreat you, do not keep telling them. Talk with them about other, real life things. Do not hide but do not push it either.

    As new people come into your life, you can permit only people who feel okay about you being gay. Regarding people who are already in your life, who you care about, and who do not mistreat you- I suggest the attitude I wrote about here.

    anita

    #82839
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I understand why you say not to tell him. But all he ever knew was I dated guys, and all of a sudden I am with a girl. What if he thinks I am bisexual? I’m not and I don’t want him thinking that all his life. I see what you mean, and I do talk to him about everyday things that go on, nothing about what I do with my girlfriend or things of the sort.

    #82841
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You misunderstood me. I didn’t suggest that you do NOT tell your father. Tell him all you need to tell him once, and when you already told him, don’t keep telling him the same thing with the motivation, maybe, that his feelings about homosexuality will change. Just let it go and communicate with him about other things, that is, for as long as he respects you and does not mistreat you. This way you both respect each other’s feelings.
    anita

    #82842
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Sorry, I am tired. So should I tell him that I am gay and not bisexual? Or not say anything about it to him and just continue talking about everyday things? I think you and my questions may have already answered that, but I am confused.

    #82844
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Why don’t you rest, take a time off from coming out. You just started coming out a few weeks ago. You need time out, relax. The operate from a CALM, relaxed state of mind.

    And when you are calm, you can re-read your posts and comments- and even take notes (it helps me)- and make a plan.

    Write again after you are rested.
    anita

    #82896
    BenzRabbit
    Participant

    Hi there,

    You are NOT going to hell – DO NOT let that poison take root in your mind !

    The Bible is a good book, but there are several things in it that if applied to real life would send almost everyone to hell !!.

    As Anita suggested above, take some time off and make a decision when you are at ease – your angels will guide you forward.

    GOD bless !!!

    #82905
    Anon Ymous
    Participant

    Imagine for a second that each person’s faith is like a different language, individually different to each single person(no one ever feels their own faith in the same way, and no one would ever translate the dogma of religion in the same way either). Some people may equate the word “gay” with “hell” and others equate the word “gay” with “love”. If they’re your family, and they equate the word “gay” with “hell” then they probably also do so in order to communicate “love” in some roundabout way(thinking that by warning you of what they fear about hell, they are showing their own kind of love).
    Eventually, all that should matter in ‘coming out’ is that you feel this love for your self, independent of anyone. So let that love you feel for yourself guide you, and no matter what people think or say, your heart will remain strong, on a path between all these imagined constructs of heaven and hell, all that truly matters is love. Love yourself, and those that truly matter and understand, will follow.

    #83057
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Thanks Benzrabbit and Rabid

    #83090
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Anita, I took your advice about taking a break from coming-out and taking notes or re-reading the comments. I understand what you were saying now. I just want to thank you for your advice on it. The communication with my dad is going really well. And I have not talked to him about my relationship with the girl I am dating. I wrote my grandmother a note about what I wanted her to know, but I haven’t sent it to her yet. Did you want to know what I said in it? But thanks again for your advice.

    #83091
    starrynightdreams
    Participant

    I just want to say that you are really brave for coming out. It’s a process and it’s definitely not easy. But I do believe that when you live your truth, things work out in the end. I hope everything works out for you and that you get all the love and support you deserve:)

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 31 total)

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