Hi, Thanks for you post. It makes a lot of sense. The details of it all is what makes it complicated…
She is technically his stepsister. But they only lived together briefly as a family. So it’s not some creepy thing like he raised her or anything like that. They have no relationship now. Their friendship ended once he met me (although they messed around together once while he dated me) I also think they both just felt awkward for having feelings for each other at one point and also—what the parents would think if they ever found out.
We only see her 1-2 a year at the most. But now after everything came out, she says she is not comfortable being around him. I only found out because he could no longer keep his lie once she said she would never be around us anymore. I am glad I know now because he can be his authentic self. This triggered so much more that has nothing to do with her.
She has made him the complete bad guy. She is not taking any ownership in her part in this. Maybe because he was 10 years older than her–who knows. She’s probably full of guilt and shame for having feelings for him back when they were both young, dumb, vulnerable and both have attachments issues. It’s been pretty devastating.

My husband and I know our truth. It’s unfortunate that her truth is something very painful. So for now I doubt we will see her again. I feel a lot of anger toward her because she propositioned him when all of this occurred.I know it takes two—but it still pisses me off. I feel that they are both guilty. We all mistakes and I am fine with that. I never really knew her either so I don’t feel the need to talk to her. I am fine with possibly never seeing her again. She was never family to us anyway. I feel like she is not part of the equation in my life. I just triggered so much insecurity.

R