The emotional dilemma is with guy a. I think my conflict comes with that I am not able to enjoy what I have at present because when I do have contact with him I find it hard to enjoy what I have and tend to want something I don’t have.

I think it is easy to say guy c is the solution but it’s harder for me to move on from guy a. Yes spot on with that hunger for the same feelings. I guess that the thought of other women and more children is a fear when he is in my life.

i honestly don’t think I could accept his behaviours is we ended up in a relationship cause it would feel like a partnership. The silly side of me would like to think none of that would happen but I do have to look at his past behaviours and think if he did value me then why does he treat me the way he does.

how do I allow myself to move on without wanting that hunger?