Dear Ayrton,

You have a lot of replies to sift through but they are all thoughtful and true. You put far too much pressure on yourself and it is choking you out. The more you focus on “What is my thing?!” the farther away form it you become. It is like holding it in your hand, clenching your fist and gripping it so hard that it cuts into you, while a world of possibilities lay all around you for you to pick up and try.

Everyone is the same when they die. Famous or not, we all end up in the ground, returned to Mother Earth, our energy that we borrowed, rightfully back in the hands of whatever driving force you believe in. The things we do for ourselves today, reverberate into the world around us. This is how you can change the world, Ayrton. Be confident in change and do WHATEVER you seem even remotely interested in. Hockey, Hot-air balloons, Painting hot-air balloons, swimming, climbing, candle-making, locksmithing, acrobatics, yoga, giving people hugs, putting on street-side shows, wood working, gardening, WHATEVER! And when you find out you kind of don’t like that thing, don’t despair at not finding your “thing” just do another thing! You got this, man.

Personally, I can’t respect a person who is trying to be somebody else. Be Ayrton, not Ayrton Senna.

Dear Annie,

You mention that you’re jealous of your boyfriend’s ability to make friends and his talents and work that lead him away from your for hours at a time. It sounds just like you said, your problem and don’t take that the wrong way because I’m here to tell you this is fixable. Very much fixable.

He cares about you, but I feel that deep down, he knows he can’t fix you, because this is within your state of mind. That is why he feels distant and argumentative and callous. It’s hard for him to deal with other people’s issues, because we all have our own issues and I’m sure he does too. But the good thing about this issue is that it can be resolved by changing perspective a little bit.

The main element that is causing issues here is your comparison to persons other than yourself. A combination of fear and shame that you may not be good enough for him, or for other people. The chakras associated with these blockages are the solar plexus and root chakras and I’m mentioning this because you seem to be looking for more ways of dealing with these feelings and perhaps meditation and chakras cleansing could be of interest to you. Just a suggestion, but it has helped me tremendously and it can for you too (I believe).

So just understand that in this situation, you must love yourself for everything you are. You must be proud to be you, whether you are friends with everyone or no one, whether you are shy or not. Find the greatest things about you, and focus on those, not the greatest things about your boyfriend and how YOU aren’t HIM. Be YOU and be happy to be you, because if there’s anything that guys like and give attention to, it’s a girl who feels good in her own skin. I hope this helps you Annie

Dear Hopefaith,

People perceive things differently. That’s just how it is. Some people find that manly, others do not.

Personally, I completely agree that a man who can embrace the latent feminine part of himself with confidence and strength is more manly than one who is afraid of being seen as less than masculine. Like cooking or doing facials with his partner or is into yoga (which is totally not even a feminine practice but western minds think it’s silly).

Dear Cinnamonhamster,

This sounds like you have a poor self-image and you, like you said, seek validation from others. Many people depend on you, but they do not take the time to tell you how much you are appreciated. What you are is beautiful and abundant. Your parents sound like they are too occupied with their external lives to realize their little girl just wants their attention and to see the beautiful, amazing girl that has so much to offer the world. That being said, you are scared to show the world who you are, because you are afraid it may not be good enough to warrant people’s attention. And do not think that this is an “inappropriate” reason to be sad. You have every right to be sad, and you just need the appreciation you deserve.

Now, I would suggest speaking with your parents about how you feel. No matter what, they are a big part of your life, and affect you in many emotional ways. Communicating your sadness may make them realize the burden they place on you by having you take care of your sister and doing things around the house a lot. That being said, you should also place some appreciation in yourself. You live so fully to other people, you sound like you forget to give yourself the same love and kindness you give to others. Life has given you friends and taken them away and I promise that a person like you will not make a million friends, but rather make a few deeply connected friendships. You will find friends who truly appreciate you, just keep on being the kind soul you are.

Cinnamonhamster, your sadness is very real, and your reasons for being sad are not inappropriate. Talk to your parents about your sadness and do not forget to give yourself some love, because you absolutely deserve it.

Pat