My heart goes out to you as I’ve also experienced the intense heartache and confusion that feels so overwhelming to you right now. There is so much I could say but want to share the things I believe will be most helpful for where you’re at right now. First, know that it is NORMAL for you to feel like you can’t breath at times from the pain and sadness. The complusive thoughts about whether it was “really your fault” and the crazy strong desire to reconnect with your ex…DOES NOT mean you should…even though your emotions will seem so convincing! You MUST find a way to stay strong and press into and thru the pain to your healing and happiness waiting just on the otherside. You WILL experience a range of intense and difficult emotions…from anger, sadness, guilt, insecurity, dispair, confusion etc…so don’t run from or be afraid of them. I ended my engagement (1 year ago this month) to a man that I adored but who didn’t value and cherish me. We were on a crazy and toxic emotional rollercoaster ride for the majority of our 1 1/2 year long relationship that made me a shell of my former happy self. Walking away was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and it truly felt like my heart was ripped in half. Accepting and knowing the reality…which is it’s going to be HARD as HELL…will give you the focus and strength you will need to get thru it…and know that you absolutely WILL! Give YOURSELF the love and life you truly deserve!
God bless you!
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