Hi Anita,

Thank you for checking…I’m sick to my stomach. I wish I could take him out of my mind and heart. I don’t understand anything and I hate that I have no answers. I feel so naive thinking my childhood and past was bad enough and now all good things…HOw does someone do this and live every day? I don’t understand how his conscious isn’t eating him alive??

Hi Anita,

First thank you for responding. I honestly don’t know, Im so confused, Ive tried this whole time to figure it out, IDK if he said all these things to hurt me to push me away or what? The night he told me that he was never in love with me, he also said that he was talking to someone else but there was no engagement. Just really weird stuff. As far as I know he’s not the cheating type. I know he loves his parents very much and that was a quality I loved about him, I just didn’t know he let them control him he’s in his mid 30s and well educated. I’m educated, I graduate this spring with my masters, I lost my parents at a very young age and I would have taken care of them as if they were my own. I’m so heart broken but I also feel like my spirit is broken. IDK how he could just do this and so ugly and hateful??? I do know his mom felt bad, she didn’t agree but she would allow our relationship because it made her son happy. The father on the other hand gets angry even holds his breath (like a toddler throwing a fit) if he doesnt get what he wants. Its sick. With that being said, my now ex is a grown man and knows better. I’m worried about him because this is not the man I have known all these years. These last couple months the craziness he’s done, makes me question my own judgment! Idk how I could have been so wrong?? My instincts have been right since I was a little girl. Never wrong and the two times I didn’t listen, it almost cost me my life.

I pray for him and his family every day. I don’t want to hate them thats not my heart, I don’t want to become an angry ugly hearted person and thankfully I haven’t yet. I’m trying. All I know he has to be mentally messed up, under more pressure than he told me. I know he told me his dad would change he kept telling me this. Maybe he decided I wasn’t worth it anymore, wasn’t worth the fight. It makes me sick to my stomach. A friend/colleague saw him yesterday at work and she said “he did not look happy.” I thought maybe he was rude or not happy towards her just bcz she’s my friend but she said no he looked like in general. I am guilty of fighting with him we fought a lot because he would hide me and I was never allowed to go to events because his dad would throw a fit. So that night at the meeting he also said that he hated seeing my caller id on his phone. I knew it wasn’t good we were fighting so much, it wasn’t over petty stuff, just literally standing up for myself, I did apologize for my part. His dad supposedly told him 4 years ago they came to america just to break us apart! That makes me sick to even type this. I believe if someone truly loves you, no matter how hard the situation is, they will never let you go. SO maybe he was actually telling the truth that he didn’t love me. Ive run through this a million times and I just get more confused and frustrated. I know his culture gets engaged fast and IDK if he’s crazy enough to do that. He use to tell me he could never marry a girl from his hometown because his mindset has changed. But he also said he’d never let me go. So I can’t believe anything and Idk what is real and what was a lie.