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Karen

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  • #103256
    Karen
    Participant

    Hello

    I agree with Anita, I don’t have anything else to add. I would only call the police in a crisis situation, that’s why I did it. I also called his sister because she specializes in the mental health field and she agreed with my decision to call the police. She did not live in the area, she was a few hours away. It’s up to you whether or not you want to call his parents. I did not call my inlaws because they have the same issues my ex has and they don’t get help either.

    He blames his sister for his actions, which does not make any sense at all. He said several things that did not make sense. You can’t force someone to get help and some people, like my ex, don’t take responsibility for their actions and always have excuses for not getting help. He would not listen to me, his sister ,or friends.

    • This reply was modified 8 years ago by Karen.
    #103218
    Karen
    Participant

    I should not have said “alive and well” in my post. They are alive but for obvious reasons I would not call them well….certainly not emotionally.

    • This reply was modified 8 years ago by Karen.
    #103217
    Karen
    Participant

    I agree with Anita.
    Unfortunately I have personal experiences with similar situations. All of them are alive and well. I had to involve the police in one incident because he had a gun and was threatening to harm himself.
    Fortunately this is a long distance relationship. If you break up with him and he makes suicidal threats perhaps you can call the police in his area and they can look into it?
    I also suggest reaching out for help in your local area for dealing with the situation and some counseling to address your issues. You are correct about the red flag behaviour. You have obviously been doing some research. That’s a great start 🙂

    #103211
    Karen
    Participant

    This sounds like a person that has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. All the actions you described is typical Narc behaviour. Her “friends” are called flying monkeys. The word “friend” is in quotation marks because Narcs typically use people for their own personal gain, they are not capable of true friendship.

    You are correct. The Narc is upset because she was unable to manipulate you.

    “For those who don’t know this term, “flying monkeys” are people that a narcissist uses to do their bidding. Sometimes, a narcissist will not attack you publicly in any way–which makes them look good–but they are privately telling carefully chosen people how evil and awful you are. They select these people the same way they chose you. They are experts at reading people and realizing who will make an easy target and a puppet. They also know who won’t, so they avoid the people they can’t easily use. Narcissists usually choose other, lesser, narcissists who will enjoy attacking you, or they choose very empathetic people who believe their stories and honestly believe they are supporting an innocent person. These flying monkeys then proceed to stalk you and report back to the narcissist–again, either to be mean or because they think they are helping the wronged party. Or, the worst flying monkeys will spread the lies the narcissist tells them privately by taking them public. The lies don’t come from the narcissist’s mouth, so they can claim they are “taking the high road,” but the words the flying monkeys spread are *exactly* what they heard from the narc. They do the narcissist’s evil, but make it seem like the narcissist isn’t really involved. They have no idea they are being used. The term comes from the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz since the wicked witch sends them to carry out her attacks. Most of the time, the narcissist has convinced the monkeys that the narcissist is the victim and the real victim is the abuser, so the monkeys go after the real victim and treat the real victim like the abuser”

    I would advise everyone to do a little research about NPD because these toxic personalities have the ability to cause damage in your professional and personal life. It is best to avoid them and learn educate yourself on red flag behaviour.

    • This reply was modified 8 years ago by Karen.
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