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Hi Anita. I’m glad you decided to check out the book I mentioned. I’m learning a lot from it although I haven’t tried any of the exercises yet. I’ve heard mindfulness described as a heightened awareness. We all have some level of awareness but for me it is slowing down from my hectic pace and using my senses to take in the moment. Whether its a joyous moment or an emotionally painful moment; take it in and accept it with an open heart. You are right; acceptance is the key. Once we learn to accept a painful emotion, we can learn to respond to it differently; with more compassion. Thank you again for your help.
Thank you Inky and Anita for your thoughtful replies and support. One thing I realize now is that trying to suppress, bury, and ignore these feelings of shame for so many years doesn’t work. It just made me angry and bitter. I am learning that I need to accept these feelings and work on how to respond to them with more compassion. Inky, I like your idea of a ritual and also to embrace TG contributions to society. I tried support groups years ago but I don’t think I was ready at the time. Maybe I should give it a second chance. Anita, I’ve just started a book called “The Mindful Path to Self Compassion” that looks like what you talked about. Being more aware of emotions and then learning to respond with self compassion instead of negative labels. I know its not going to happen overnight but I appreciate both of you very much for your help.May 24, 2015 at 10:19 pm in reply to: Fear of failure doesn't let me move forward. Stuck and Overwhelmed !! #77196
Hi Zita. Fear of failure and fear of being judged negatively by others are symptoms of low self esteem. You said you don’t know where these feelings of inferiority come from. These fears that you describe can be paralyzing. Thats why you are staying in your comfort zone. I think professional help is needed to get unstuck. A therapist or counselor who is an expert in self esteem issues can help you develop CBT or self compassion skills that will help you change these negative thoughts about yourself. Best of luck.
Hi Libby. I’d recommend “Your Sacred Self” by Wayne Dyer.
Hi. When dealing with anxiety, it is important to raise your serotonin level. The two most powerful natural ways to do this are 1) At least 5 days a week of moderate to intense aerobic exercise. Things like swimming, biking, running, ect. Getting your heart rate up and breaking a good sweat for at least 45 minutes. 2) Getting plenty of sunlight. Sunlight also releases serotonin in the brain. I had developed developed generalized anxiety and OCD in my late teens. Then at age 20 I started jogging outdoors and found I was a pretty good runner. Running outdoors instead of on a treadmill, gave me the added benefit of getting lots of sunshine. Soon my anxiety was gone and I’m still running at age 61. The last thing is that when you have anxiety, you should limit your caffeine intake. Too much caffeine makes anxiety much worse. Best of luck and hope this helps!
That sounds like me back in my teenage years. I thought I was a complete loser that wasn’t good at anything. The vast majority of these negative beliefs are false, but sometimes you need to take a risk and take on some challenges that will build confidence and self esteem. After several years of going nowhere, I joined the military at age 23. I was scared to death of failing, but graduating basic training turned my life around. We had to do a lot of running, and I found out I was pretty good at it. Several years after that I ran my first marathon. Fear is the thing that holds us back. Fear of failing, fear of rejection, fear of being judged, ect. I know its hard, but your going to have to take some risks. Ask somebody out on a date, and if they say no, ask someone else out. Self esteem and confidence don’t happen overnight; its a building process of small steps. I would seek out some realistic challenges that would build your self confidence. Best of luck!!
Hi Lexy. I was in your boat many years ago so I know what you are feeling. I had always had low self confidence/self esteem and when I graduated from college, I wasn’t ready for the adult world and all the responsibilities that come with it. I had a lot of fear and anxiety. My parents said I could move back home and my dad said I could work for him. As tempting as this was, I knew this wasn’t a long term solution. I made a decision on the spur of the moment to join the military and it was the best decision I ever made. I developed self confidence, a direction in life, and I found out that I could stand on my own two feet. I’m not saying this is the answer for you, but sometimes it takes getting away from our parents in order to grow. The uncertainty of the future can be terrifying but developing independence and self confidence helps us cope with change and uncertainty. I hope things get better and best of luck.