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The brain chemical Serotonin is maybe the most important of the chemicals because it is involved in both anxiety and depression. Serotonin levels can dip from chronic inner or external stress thus leading to anxiety. The 2 most effective natural things that I do to control my anxiety are vigorous aerobic exercise (I’m a runner) and lots of time outdoors in the sunlight. Both of these release serotonin which calms you and helps with a positive mood. I also cut out caffeine because a stimulant makes anxiety much worse. For very serious cases of anxiety, medication may be needed.
Hi Maria. I have the same problem. I’m different and always tried to mold myself into what society says I should be instead of being myself. It just led to a lot of shame because I thought I was defective in some way. I’ve made a lot of progress because I was tired of being a phony and living my life for the approval of others. Best of luck!January 24, 2018 at 6:49 am in reply to: therapy, scared to go back but I know that I have to #188537
Hello Em. Depression is tough but I’m glad you got an official diagnosis so you know the best treatments. I’ve had clinical depression for the past 15 years which was triggered by a very traumatic event in my late 40’s. Going on medication (SSRI) was a last resort, but it gave me my life back. I was becoming less and less functional. No energy or motivation, missing time at work, etc. Then I had a serious depressive episode which was several weeks of hell. Only going on medication pulled me out of it. I’ve stayed on a low dose since then which has kept me stable. For clinical depression, most experts will recommend a combination of medication and talk therapy. Hope your treatment goes well for you.January 20, 2018 at 4:48 pm in reply to: Finding a Remedy for a Severe Case of Perfectionism #187781
I’m not sure how to post a link but I’ll try one more time. https://www.innerbonding.com/show-article/2734/if-im-perfect-no-one-will-reject-me-healing-perfectionism.htmlJanuary 20, 2018 at 9:31 am in reply to: Finding a Remedy for a Severe Case of Perfectionism #187743
I’ve always had a serious case of perfectionism that started in high school and continues to this day. I’m going to post a link to an article that describes why I developed this. Its titled, “If I’m perfect, no one will reject me”. I had a lot of rejection growing up from peers (especially girls) that led to very low self esteem. I developed this belief that appearing perfect to others, was the only sure fire way to prevent being rejected. I felt I could not make a mistake because I would be judged very harshly and rejected. Its a very stressful way to live when you constantly fear that your false appearance will be exposed. It was this inner, chronic stress that I put on myself that lead to my generalized anxiety disorder. The article is at: www.innerbonding.com/show-article/2734/if-im-perfect-no-one-will-reject-me-healing-perfectionism.html
I’m not sure where your guilt is coming from. Because you had cancer?
Hi F.R. There are 3 things I would recommend to keep up your motivation. One is to change up your exercise routine. I cross train between running, cycling, and some weights. If you do the same thing everyday, you’ll become bored quickly. Number 2 is to exercise outdoors whenever possible. I hate treadmills and stationary bikes and enjoy it so much more being out in the sunshine and fresh air. My third recommendation would be to find a workout partner. You won’t be tempted to blow it off and stay in bed when you know someone is expecting you to be there. Best of luck.
When I turned 60 a few years ago, I started developing anxiety about my age and “fear of the unknown”. I’m in perfect health and still do the things I used to do. My sister is close to my age and in good health also. She is the only family I have left and I worry about something happening to her. I honestly don’t know if I could carry on without her. I don’t want to be the only one left from my family. She is the only one I’m really close to and can open up to. The only thing I worry about myself is getting dementia. My anxiety about the future is ruining the good things I have right now.
Hello Cali sister. I’d like to take a different approach. You stated that you live with a baseline level of anxiety, constantly in fight or flight, and there are little or no stressors. It sounds like the same thing I have, “generalized anxiety disorder”, or GAD. Overly worried or anxious about small everyday things. There are several natural ways to reduce chronic anxiety. The first thing a doctor would ask you is if you drink caffeine or take other stimulants. Lots of caffeine makes your anxiety 10 times worse. I eliminated caffeine and felt much calmer. Another way is get at least five days a week of vigorous aerobic exercise. I’m a runner and feel so much calmer and relaxed during the day after my morning run. Another way is to get as much sunlight during the day as possible. Both the exercise and sunlight release serotonin in the brain which is the chemical related to anxiety and depression. I would try these natural ways first and if you are still feeling a lot of anxiety I would see your doctor. Hope this helps.
Thanks Anita. Same to you. Hope you are well and continuing to heal.
Hi Eliza. Welcome to Tiny Buddha. It sounds like you are a person of great character and integrity. Its normal to yearn for someone to share life with. But your so young, there is no rush to find the perfect mate. It takes time and you are absolutely right to stick to your principles. In my case, I lowered my principles and rushed into a marriage in my mid twenties just because many of my friends were getting married. Needless to say it didn’t last long. There are nice guys out there that feel the same way you do. Be patient and optimistic and I’m sure the right one will come along. Best of luck!!
This quote sums it up for me. At 63 years of age I’ve spent a lifetime trying to find happiness through external validation and material things. For me, peace of mind would come from accepting my imperfect self and living authentically without fear of being rejected.
Happiness, true happiness, is an inner quality. It is a state of mind. If your mind is at peace, you are happy. If your mind is at peace, but you have nothing else, you can be happy. If you have everything the world can give – pleasure, possessions, power – but lack peace of mind, you can never be happy.
Hi Mimi. Because you said you get overwhelmed very easily its very possible you have anxiety along with the depression. Traumatic events can trigger this. After the death of my mother 15 years ago I developed severe depression and anxiety. After several years and as a last resort I saw my doctor and went on antidepressants. It has made a huge difference and reduced my suffering so I could function. The thing is; biochemical depression and anxiety are debilitating. It saps your energy, motivation, and self confidence. No amount of willpower can overcome this. The brain chemical “serotonin” becomes depleted and the only thing that works is getting your serotonin levels back up. Thats what medication does; make more serotonin available in the brain. Aerobic exercise releases serotonin and well as sunlight. Medication can help you get back on track so you can make the healthy lifestyle changes. Best of luck.
Hi Doreen. I can definitely relate. We can have negative emotions and low self esteem which can make us feel down much of the time but that is different from biochemical depression. I developed clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder after the death of my mother 15 years ago. We have a genetic predisposition and when a traumatic or stressful event happens, it can trigger the depression. Did you have a traumatic event or are you under chronic stress? It can strike at any age. The treatment involves getting your serotonin levels back up. The 2 most effective natural ways to raise your serotonin levels are: 1) Get lots of morning sunlight. If you live in a cloudy climate, an indoor light machine will help. 2) Get daily aerobic exercise. It should be moderate to intense for at least 30 minutes.
These two methods might be all you need for mild depression. A more serious case might require the help of medication. My depression and anxiety are both severe and I’ve needed the help of an antidepressant for the past 10 years.
I hope this helps and best of luck.
Hello selfcontained87. I am someone who has dealt with erection problems my whole adult life. I’ve always had low self esteem and a strong “fear of rejection”. I always put tremendous pressure on myself in that I had to perform perfectly as a man should or else I would be rejected. It didn’t help that I failed at my first attempt at sex at age 19 and labeled myself as a total failure. It was always the first time with a new partner that I had problems. If it was somebody I got to know first and knew wouldn’t reject me, I relaxed enough to perform with no problems. I don’t know that I have an answer for you, but hopefully you gained a little more insight from someone who has the same problem. Take care. Jim