Hello, I was drawn to this post because I know many people who have been in this situation. The first thing that strikes me is the way you describe yourself as ‘an ugly personality’. Is this your opinion of your self and if so then why do you think you are an ugly person? Is this what other people have told you or is this what you tell yourself? We all make mistakes no one is perfect. It definately sounds like this girl you are talking about is not perfect. Try to write a list of realistic positive things about yourself even if you can only think of one thing just write it down. I would say that the fact that you were able to continue an intimate relationship with someone for a year is a positive testimony to your character. (even though you weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, you were still intimate and it was still a relationship just not a serious one) Believe it or not there are many many people who go well into adulthood without achieving this.

As for the rejection its a really good thing that you are expressing your feelings and feeling them instead of trying to hide them away. It sounds like you are in alot of pain emotionally. I would say you should allow yourself time to feel the pain and feel sorry for yourself for a while. try to avoid the temptation to torture yourself by trying to find information out about the girl and her new partner. Talk about your feelings or write them down as much as possible. Then when you feel ready go out and start having fun, try a new hobby go to a new city focus on improving the things you want to improve about yourself. You may feel like crap for sometime but time WILL help and things will get easier.