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Look for a therapist that has 10+ years of experience with PTSD and childhood trauma and choose a male or female the gender your most comfortable with. I found triggers by keeping a journal and reading it to my therapist. If I see a child being slapped in the store, it maybe just something I taste in food or a smell in the room. I write all these things down. The hardest for me was talking about the shame. It took almost 8 months to tell him my darkest secrets. Secrets were the things that most troubled me. I trusted no one but if they did not come out I knew I would stay sick. These were not just bad things that happened to me but what I did to others. What I have learned is I must live only in the day. Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery so all I have is the here and now. Remember you can start your day over at 2 in the afternoon. Today I must learn what I’m grateful for now. So I’m sending you rainbows. Give yourself a hug.
Hi Joanna, First let me say your brave. You’re reaching out. You took the first step toward walking away from that violence toward the light. I’m a victim of long term childhood violence and have PTSD but I decided a year ago at 61 years old to not live in that part of my mind any longer. For me it meant getting a good therapist I could learn to trust and talk about it and learn about all the things that triggered me. The triggers are getting less and less, and even though it’s been hard I learned new ways to live my life. I also walked away from my mother and have not seen or spoke to her in 3 years. I have forgiven her but she would be unhealthy for me to be around. I’ve learned to meditate, pray to my own version of a higher power and place myself near healthy people. I’m starting to really like me today and you can too. Just keep talking and looking for a better way to live love and learn.
This year I wrote this
To My Little Girl Inside
A Day To Fly
Time to come out now,
There’s no need to hide,
The raging storms are over,
God has stemmed the tide.
Let us fly together,
Feel the wind upon our face,
The doves will soar right with us,
With Gods amazing grace.
The endless nights are over,
The daylight comes at last,
A brilliant light surrounds you,
You’re free from all the past.
No more crying tears of loss,
You can smile, laugh and dance,
Musical sounds will sooth you,
You’ll sing your songs at last.
The fears of life that surrounded you,
Can fade and drift away,
Come take my hand and walk with me,
Together we’re strong and safe.
So let us fly together,
Feel the wind upon our face
The doves will soar right with us,
With Gods Amazing grace.
I’ve been working on my weight since last may and have lost 58lbs. I did it different this time. Started my keeping a journal of my feelings when I wanted to eat and what happened when I ate certain foods. Food and emotion goes hand and hand with me. Eating less first felt like drug withdrawal, and I cried on and off by allowing the feelings to flow. Then I found my body feeling starved for days after I ate wheat or white sugar. For me I had to just quit eating certain things. I’m still on this journey. I’ve added going to the gym because it help control emotions that makes my mind uneasy and want to eat the feelings away.
I’m 62, belong to a gym and try to go every day. It works to keep anxiety away, and strength training is good for the body when your post menopausal to keep bones strong and healthy.