hey brandy

thank u for replying and clarifying ur response it’s really insightful:)

i get what you mean about people wanting to be with the people who have the most fun it makes a lot of sense especially for people around my age.

i guess it’s important to realise that having a connection with someone is preferable over someone seeking my approval.

i think people are also afraid of the consequences of non-conformity, a lot of the times the person people gravitate toward (let’s call person A) is often intimidating/have connections to intimidating group of friends or people. as a result people would rather appease person A as to avoid the repercussions of person A and their friends not liking them. for example i work at a fast food restaurant and there was a conflict between two team members one was a “person A” the other was not. Every team member chose to defend and back up person A despite him being in the wrong. The other team member was being ‘attacked’. i tried to defend the second team member and got told to “shut up” repeatedly by other team members. it’s sad to see that people choose to appease people over their own morals and values.

as a young impressionable person surrounded by young impressionable people it’s hard not to conform and i don’t blame people for seeking Person A’s approval i cant say i’ve never done this. but i think it’s ignorant of them to not see what they’re doing and its reign over their morality

personally i consider myself a person b however i feel so lonely, irrelevant and of lesser value because people don’t really value my affection or respect as much as other people’s and it’s kind of degrading idk.

Being a person B seems morally correct in retrospect however the way it has impacted my self-worth has been detrimental i guess

thanks for responding x

anita that was a great explanation, relating this odd occurrence to childhood “trauma” i guess feels like a good justification. however i want to ask you which person you would want to be in this case A or B.

also with person a or b does that mean they don’t have this will to please other people? why is that?

thank u for responding x

Thanks for all the responses guys I’ll update if anything does happen

Thank u for the perspective i think I might actually be straight up and make gestures like he did but I really don’t know what to do any suggestions???

Also the idea of asking him is TERRIFYING I know his friends and if they find out I like him and that he rejected me they won’t ever let me live it down and I couldn’t even be friends with him after that

I don’t want to lose him entirely but I can’t stand not having clarity is really stressing me out

so anyways I just want to ask if you have any suggestions on letting him know I like him without having to directly tell him???