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Soph

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  • in reply to: questioning the way relationships with people work? #351050
    Soph
    Participant

    hey brandy

    thank u for replying and clarifying ur response it’s really insightful:)

    i get what you mean about people wanting to be with the people who have the most fun it makes a lot of sense especially for people around my age.

    i guess it’s important to realise that having a connection with someone is preferable over someone seeking my approval.

    i think people are also afraid of the consequences of non-conformity, a lot of the times the person people gravitate toward (let’s call person A) is often intimidating/have connections to intimidating group of friends or people. as a result people would rather appease person A as to avoid the repercussions of person A and their friends not liking them. for example i work at a fast food restaurant and there was a conflict between two team members one was a “person A” the other was not. Every team member chose to defend and back up person A despite him being in the wrong. The other team member was being ‘attacked’. i tried to defend the second team member and got told to “shut up” repeatedly by other team members. it’s sad to see that people choose to appease people over their own morals and values.

    as a young impressionable person surrounded by young impressionable people it’s hard not to conform and i don’t blame people for seeking Person A’s approval i cant say i’ve never done this. but i think it’s ignorant of them to not see what they’re doing and its reign over their morality

    in reply to: questioning the way relationships with people work? #350988
    Soph
    Participant

    i was just thinking about what i wrote

    it’s really shallow of me to base my self-worth on how much other people value me i know

    i wish i could change how much i cared about what other people thought of me ://

    in reply to: questioning the way relationships with people work? #350986
    Soph
    Participant

    personally i consider myself a person b however i feel so lonely, irrelevant and of lesser value because people don’t really value my affection or respect as much as other people’s and it’s kind of degrading idk.

    Being a person B seems morally correct in retrospect however the way it has impacted my self-worth has been detrimental i guess

    thanks for responding x

    in reply to: questioning the way relationships with people work? #350980
    Soph
    Participant

    hey brandy i guess it probably is something to do with seeking a higher status it’s kinda sad that this is a reality. in my personal life someone could be outgoing, athletic or intelligent and people would still gravitate to other people i just find it odd and kind of sad :/

    do u think this need for approval by people with higher status comes from the need to feel ‘protected’ or to conform to social standards?

    in reply to: questioning the way relationships with people work? #350978
    Soph
    Participant

    anita that was a great explanation, relating this odd occurrence to childhood “trauma” i guess feels like a good justification. however i want to ask you which person you would want to be in this case A or B.

    also with person a or b does that mean they don’t have this will to please other people? why is that?

    thank u for responding x

    in reply to: Does he like me? Should I give up on him? #281445
    Soph
    Participant

    Dear Anita,,

    your  post gave me a whole other perspective these signs I was supposedly given could’ve Meant nothing in the bigger picture, and a lot other girls in my school probably experience the same thing from him.

    Your post struck me with sadness and disappointment  but it also made me accepting of any outcome that I may face as a result of this crush. Even if he didn’t like me the feelings I had for him brought me joy on more than one occasion.

    As for his friend joking about ted liking me I still to this day have no idea what that was about no one I MEAN NO ONE knows that I like him and it was Really out of no where, but it really could’ve been his friend messing with me or that his friend liked me cause I could tell ted had nothing to do with it he was among the group and seemingly had no interest in the conversation had.

    And reffering to the speaker thing he well and truly could’ve not been looking at me I really don’t have a clue.

    And finally what I wanted was to have a relationship with ted

    To conclude this post once again I come to you with the question what do i do? I don’t know whether I should act on this crush or not?

    Kind regards,

    serife 🙂

    in reply to: Does he like me? Should I give up on him? #281443
    Soph
    Participant

    Thanks for all the responses guys I’ll update if anything does happen

    Soph
    Participant

    Thank u very much for your response it makes my feeling of betrayal and anger feel righteous. The reaction my friend gave made it seem as though I was exaggerating and that it really was not a big deal so I felt stupid for reacting confrontational.

    i didn’t even realise I hadn’t included my age I’m 16.  But thank you for giving me a sense of closure in the fact that I had not reacted badly

    kind regards,,

    a greatful teen.

     

    in reply to: Does he like me? Should I give up on him? #281299
    Soph
    Participant

    Thank u for the perspective i think I might actually be straight up and make gestures like he did but I really don’t know what to do any suggestions???

    Also the idea of asking him is TERRIFYING I know his friends and if they find out I like him and that he rejected me they won’t ever let me live it down and I couldn’t even be friends with him after that

    I don’t want to lose him entirely but I can’t stand not having clarity is really stressing me out

    so anyways I just want to ask if you have any suggestions on letting him know I like him without having to directly tell him???

    in reply to: Does he like me? Should I give up on him? #281297
    Soph
    Participant

    Well guys I guess I’ve come to yet another dead end a new girl came to our school and she hangs out with me and he’s been asking my friend for her Snapchat so I guess he doesn’t like me :(((( your answers really did put a new perspective on the way I see him as a person. The things people say about him are just assumptions and we happen to walk the same way home maybe I’ll ask him if he’d wanna walk again but it seems near impossible for anything to happen sadly

    thank you so much for your responses I was worried I’d get no answer :)))

    kind regards,,

    a grateful teenager.

     

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)