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SantaFe

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Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • #404909
    SantaFe
    Participant

    Thanks Anita! *hugs*

    #404881
    SantaFe
    Participant

    I crossed continents and oceans so to get as far away from my mother as possible, and away from her I made a lot of progress, but every time I visited her, all the progress evaporated. Then away from her again, I made progress again, starting from scratch.. and next visit- it was all gone. After years of this dynamic, there was no more progress… until after I ended ALL contact with her.

     

    I crossed oceans but then cane back! COVID was one hell of a time! But then I’ve got a place that’s not very close or far from my parents’! And I want to forgive them, they don’t think they are doing something wrong while they do it.  I really want to forgive them and grow as a person.  These petty tantrums that I felt like throwing today just made me feel worse.

    Thanks for this great website and awesome blogs that have kept me going and will keep teaching me 🙂

    #404877
    SantaFe
    Participant

    Not friend but a sibling! I’ve confronted my parents several times about this. Their repetitive response is that its me who thinking negatively,  they’ve been the same with everyone!

    The older post from 2017 is so refreshing to read though. It seemed so impossible then. But I did make it through! And Ive started distancing myself, emotionally and mentally! Somehow coming back home just makes all my wisdom (if I can call it that) go away

    #404855
    SantaFe
    Participant

    Wow! This is so old. I got over my anxiety, for some time, did well in several, got a great scholarship.

    I am still a loser in the conventional use of the word, but I’m on my way of getting cured of toxic ambition, the need for approval, wanting to please everyone.

    #404854
    SantaFe
    Participant

    “I feel like throwing a tantrum and cutting off this relationship as well. Like, “oh you value them more? Go have that relationship then. Bye”-  Reads to me like an old wound has reopened in this situation: someone long ago valued others more than he/ she valued you?

    Not very proud of it, but its been this way with my friends, exes, and my parents (I like to joke that I’m the spare child). But I’ve accepted and been ok with it for a long time now, with loads of therapy, self reflection and distance. I’ve been insecure, and I still can be every now and then. But now I’m older and wiser to not end relationships and friendships over it. A is literally family.

    Have you spoken to the friend that you are close to about how you are feeling yet (without demanding anything)?

    I did. They said that they want to maintain a cordial relationship with the person B considering they are relatives too, despite how disrespectful B has been to a lot of us. A is struggling with their own insecurities and the toxic need for approval, showing off and other things our present culture considers normal. (I like to think I can see that with years of experience in therapy. I’ve been the weird one in the family who went to therapy, everyone else is normal.)

    Somehow this brought me back to my old unmanaged self, it often so happens when I’m back home. But this time it was just over texts, but still. On one hand I’m thinking I might find enlightenment in this life, on the other I can’t even get rid of emotions like this.

     

    #129095
    SantaFe
    Participant

    The interviewer kept looking down and writing something down throughout since the very first question. (internet interview). That made me all the more convinced that I’m going wrong

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by SantaFe.
    #129039
    SantaFe
    Participant

    I had prepared so much.. I could actually see the words in my head… but nothing came out.. only the dumbest things I could say did..

    #129035
    SantaFe
    Participant

    done with 2. Did ok in one (was so surprised at myself) but got a total brain freeze in the second one. I was literally just speaking anything without even making sense.

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