“I feel like throwing a tantrum and cutting off this relationship as well. Like, “oh you value them more? Go have that relationship then. Bye”- Reads to me like an old wound has reopened in this situation: someone long ago valued others more than he/ she valued you?
Not very proud of it, but its been this way with my friends, exes, and my parents (I like to joke that I’m the spare child). But I’ve accepted and been ok with it for a long time now, with loads of therapy, self reflection and distance. I’ve been insecure, and I still can be every now and then. But now I’m older and wiser to not end relationships and friendships over it. A is literally family.
Have you spoken to the friend that you are close to about how you are feeling yet (without demanding anything)?
I did. They said that they want to maintain a cordial relationship with the person B considering they are relatives too, despite how disrespectful B has been to a lot of us. A is struggling with their own insecurities and the toxic need for approval, showing off and other things our present culture considers normal. (I like to think I can see that with years of experience in therapy. I’ve been the weird one in the family who went to therapy, everyone else is normal.)
Somehow this brought me back to my old unmanaged self, it often so happens when I’m back home. But this time it was just over texts, but still. On one hand I’m thinking I might find enlightenment in this life, on the other I can’t even get rid of emotions like this.
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