Dear Anita,

Yes I completely agree. Acting assertively is a skill that needs to be developed. From my own experience, I have learned that practising assertiveness during times of pain and anger is not that easy, especially when the person in front of you seems to be very provocative. Thats the reason why before any confrontation, one needs to prepare himself/herself for all the possible outcomes. I had recently confronted a girl and as I was prepared before hand, tackling the situation became much easier and I was finally able to stand up for myself.

Dear Grace,

I do admire your strength of acknowledging the fact that even you might have done some wrong things. It’s completely fine. At times, all of us have lied or spoken something negative about someone behind their backs. But the best part is, even if you had done it, you have realised it and were strong to admit it to yourself. We are neither our actions or our thoughts. Because all of us can learn and grow out of them.

Take Care.

Dear Joanna,

I feel that thoughts concerning ‘how am I’ or ‘does he/she like me’ could be detrimental for one’s psychological well being. But the reality is, you haven’t made them, they are simply thoughts evoking unpleasant emotions which keeps coming and going within all of us. I have faced them too. But one of the efficient ways to deal with such thoughts is to simply be aware of them. Awareness of when our minds begins to ruminate on matters of self worth and physical attractiveness and to gently bring it back to the task at hand. I would suggest that you use the app known as headspace, which entails guided meditation. It helps you to become more aware of your thoughts, feelings and sensations.

I would also suggest that try to keep things at a slower pace, as you are entering a new relationship. I completely understand that we all wish to be loved and feel completely elated when someone starts giving us their attention. But please do give more time to your activities and also pay attention to understand from where these insecurities are coming from. It may require changing of certain habits which you may have not realised by now were unhealthy for you. Give time, give space and let things flow naturally. Because whatever you feed will eventually grow 🙂

Take Care and All the Best!

Dear Karen,

I completely know what you are going through. I have never been through a breakup but have experienced rejection. It’s been two years but still those thoughts keep coming back to me. What I have recently learned is that we tend to ruminate over our past only because we wish to get answers for what went wrong. We are always running behind certainty. It gives us comfort and confidence. What I suggest is that start engaging into the habit of observing your thoughts and once you realise that your mind is wandering back to him, engage in some activity. Its completely normal for thoughts to come. It happens to all of us. And also remember that you were happy even before meeting him. So you can and will be able to be the happy version of you now as well!:)

Take care.