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Sha

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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • in reply to: I Feel So Lost and Frustrated: #175787
    Sha
    Participant

    Hi Anita and Eliana,

    Thank you for your suggestions. After this post was submitted ironically I found work. I was hired by a company 3 days later. I am very appreciative of landing this job because it was VERY difficult for me to adjust to my situation. I am not on medication or seeing a therapist for my depression but that would be beneficial, right? However, I am still in search of another job just to have more of a cash flow coming in and I will consider the suggestions mentioned to me.

     

    Much love,

    Sha

    in reply to: discovering how to be alone #174693
    Sha
    Participant

    Hi Patty,

    How are you feeling?

    I found myself in this position before. Years ago, I was in a relationship and it was very toxic but loving. After we broke up I did not feel comfortable being single. First, it was because I wanted to beat him to the punch and show him that I can be happy without him. Than, it formed into me believing that I moved on and was ready to be in another relationship when I was not. Part of the reason why many of us jump into relationships as quickly as we do is because we have a void that we are experiencing and look to others to fill. Through reflecting and trial and error is where we find what those voids are. Through seeing and understanding those voids for what they are we can limit feeding them by turning to others. We can also limit attracting those we attract with those voids we have. For example, my void is confirmation and vulnerability. I look to date men who will define who or what I think I am – when they treat me well I think lovely things about myself and when they treat me with disrespectful I do not think kindly of myself. I also force them to be vulnerable with me because I struggle with intimacy and through these two voids I often welcome emotionally unavailable, and sometimes abusive men to me.

    I hope this can give you something to think about.

     

    in reply to: Empty. Lost. Depression. Emotionless. #174691
    Sha
    Participant

    Hi Victoria,

    I am sorry on behalf of your father that speaking your truth was so difficult for him. Unfortunately, most people do not know how to react in ways that are not offensive when a person comes forth and says, “Hey, I am not okay”. I am no expert but maybe you can consider my suggestions to helping you find a way to combat this. How fond are you of journaling? I would suggest writing down things you would like to do/things that have make you happy.

    For me, on my happy list I wrote: reading book, writing in forums, and taking long, nature walks. Than incorporate this in your routine slowly. Afterwards, reflect on why you feel depressed, what triggers your depression and are there any resolutions to this? You mentioned you feel lost and alone with no one to talk to! Well, you have internet forums where you can reach out and escape your reality a bit, but what about seeing a therapist? I frequent them in the past and surprisingly it helped.

    I wish you the best!

    in reply to: Regret #174683
    Sha
    Participant

    Gagan,

    I hope my message finds you well. I ask that before you respond to our replies reach out to this helpline, only if you feel comfortable. Here is the number: 1-800-784-2433, these people are extremely helpful and I often use their services. This service is free and you do not have to reveal who you are, just allow them to be your sounding board. Now back to the discussion at hand, by the tone of things it sounds as if you have a deep love and care for this woman and she shares the same point of view, she also definitely values your opinion too. But take a step back and read everything that you have written… you have pushed her away and only you know why. Pushing her away is not a bad or a good deed on your end, but you must understand the reality of why you did it to begin with before your life changing event. Were you scared to be with her? did you feel as if you had no right? these are just examples of what you may have felt. However, I encourage you to reflect on this before professing how you feel about her, if you choose to do so.

     

    Sending love to you.

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