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Jesse

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    Jesse
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    To Sarah and all of the other Dog mourners!

    Thanks for posting the process of your experience with your loved Dog!  She’s sound wonderful and the love was beyond basic.  Its so hard to cope and try to walk and breathe.  Your feelings are deep inside and are only shown by your eyes.  You say you cant get out of bed.  Please try.  Wake up because your dog is looking down at you picking out your home in Dogland.  A place where all Dog lovers go. But she needs you to be strong and guide her to pick that spot because otherwise your sorrow may not bring her the strength.  She watches you everyday and every night, so pick yourself up!  I put his leash, towel, and a picture of him looking at me in the passenger seat.  I talk to him like hes still alive.  Asking him where is puppy friends are? Telling him we’re going to the lake.  Im not afraid what someone might think cause its our bond that we created in 12.5 yrs that only matters to us.  I hope to find the strength to love another dog, but I know it wont be Jake and that hurts.  All dogs are good dogs they just need the right companion to complete the circle of love.

    Its only been 9 days since my Jake pasted. We were only separated 14 days in 12.5 years.  Im single and lonely, but he was my partner in crime. Literally we spent all day playing on our 20 acres or swimming, hunting, fishing, he ride on the jet ski, rolling around, getting crazy.  I even bought a Tahoe so he could come to work with me just chilling in the back with all seats layed out with his water and food.  I would walk him on my breaks and we never were far apart.  Our bond was just has strong.  He died a similar fashion.  Mast Cell Disease which hit him on a Fathers Day brought to vet on Tues and was told 3 weeks tops.  He died in the Tahoe 24 hours later riding shotgun has I brought him driving in the woods taking the long way to the vet to have him go to sleep.  I think it got to his spleen too and basically I question and read so much material about this shitty time.  I cry every 2 hours or so.  I drank so much the next 6 days and realized that’s not the answer.  I could only call in sick for two days and it wasn’t  enough to properly heal.  The first couple days id sit outside and cry.  I could feel the wind go thru me.  The sun didn’t show up for 8 days.  I realized I like the rain.  My senses increased and I felt a sad euphoria.  I could hear birds in the distance like never before.  Im more calm, but sad.  More bitter but better.  More focused but weak. All of this will blend together I hope to make me stronger.  Its hard to look ppl in the eyes.  Even believe their intentions.  My focus is now to get out of health care and live my life.  Money isn’t even a factor anymore.  I feel this is the being of being Free as sad has it may be, my Dog is gone.  He wants me to chase those dreams like sticks and run like the wind.   hello World goodbye my Best Friend forever.  I will miss you everyday im alive.

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