Hi Anita:

I as well took a break from email this weekend. I don’t mind explaining further. For the first instance – I say it was an unsafe and hostile work environment because my department supervisor was extremely hostile towards me mentioning she “regret hiring me”,  took me off the account I was hired to work on, essentially demoting me and then putting me on a 30 day performance plan with little direction with a potential outcome that might be unfavorable (loosing my job after the review period)

The second instance an alley told me the CEO “jokingly” made a comment about a christmas cake I shared with the office having potentially having “weed” in it (because I am originally Jamaican), additionally, my direct supervisor taking me off accounts and not speaking to me directly after pointing out her hostile treatment and that someone on our team quit because she was so intolerable to work with. I was assured by the general manager the situation would have been handled but then I was ask to sign a performance improvement plan while I know they were hiring for my exact role, so I quit.

Hoping that helps to clarify.

@Anita: interest you ask this because I was thinking about this earlier. When I was in that situation it sucked – it was horrible, but I still went to the library during business hours and applied for jobs, read books etc. I was also doing some house cleaning gigs then I scored a job and slowly climbed my way back out of the financial hole I was in.

Ahhh! *heavy sigh* I have given those suggestions a try as well. I have applied for the jobs that I normally wouldn’t have and have been told I am over qualified for those. For the ones I have direct experience for and a degree in I get rejections letters from those too. I cannot spend (period) I have no money at all. Looking into breaking my lease but that would mean I am on the streets – literally not figuratively. See this is the exactly the reason I try not to thinking about these things because I have been here before – sleeping in my car. sigh.

Hi @Greenshade! Thank you for your response and for your questions – I sincerely appreciate your input and insight.

Interims of positive change I am looking for includes but are not limited to – having an optimistic outlook for my future, not beating myself up for decisions I make and the consequences that follow, I would like to cultivate an “always willing to learn” mindset vs. “I do not know and am not good enough” mindset. Ideally, I am look forward to all the wonderful rewards I am essentially, promised by practicing “accepting all that comes in the present moment” – I just don’t seem to get the satisfaction and peace and clarity I hear and read accompanies these grounding types of practices. Like, in this present moment I do not have a job even though I deeply desire one, putting in the work to get one daily and have been cultivating a positive outlook about it, even though I visualize myself thriving in the role and working harmoniously will my co-workers. Yet, email, after email I get rejection letters; so I am starting to think and believe this great universe wants me to be suffering and unable to handle my financial responsibilities. Furthermore, this is the 2nd time in 2 yrs I am in the exact same position – out of work, interviewing like crazy -> all turn me down -> unemployment ran out -> behind on rent -> account zeroed out, no help or support from family. Therefore, I just feel tapped out of options because I believe I have tried and done all the right things to produce favorable results.

Have you or anyone else gone through or felt this way? What did you do to affect positive change?

• This reply was modified 6 years, 8 months ago by Zee.