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How to stay hope during tough times?

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This topic contains 16 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  UnknownAnne 3 days ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 17 total)
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  • #163168

    Zee
    Participant

    Greetings:

    I am deeply saddened and not sure how to move forward, what to do now or how to resolve and heal. Lately, I have been experiencing a series of events that have caused me to become – hmm- searching for the adjective I guess it’s hopeless but not really I guess I’m curious what’s causing me to have these events occur when I know I do not want this for myself. Even though I am practicing being in and accepting the present moment, practicing the law of attraction – claim it, believe it, visualize it – starting my morning with both positive thoughts & yoga. I burn the palo santo, the incenses, the sage, I charge and wear the crystals. Nothing seems to be affecting positive change which is makes be wonder what message the universe is sending me.  I am being aware of my thoughts and eliminating the limiting and negative thoughts yet I seem to be manifesting the opposite. I started to list all the things that aren’t working but decided not to because that would go against focusing on abundance and return me to the cycle of limiting thoughts. I know I am rambling and this might not be the place for that but I am deeply seeking any input to help move forward and out of this space I am in.

    #163226

    greenshade
    Participant

    Hi Zee!

    Could you explain a little bit more about what type of positive change you are looking for? Maybe you need to take some more direct steps towards the change you are looking for, that is actively identifying venues where things you are looking for can be found and then going to them.

    Best,

    m

    #163260

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Zee:

    You wrote that you start your mornings with “positive thoughts” but these do not lead to a “positive change”. You wrote that you are “eliminating the limiting and negative thoughts”, yet the opposite happens, that is, negative reality follows.

    I believe that the way to well-being and best functioning in life is not to think positive thoughts and eliminate negative thoughts. Instead it is to think realistic thoughts, that is, thoughts that are true to reality, and to eliminate unrealistic thoughts, that is, thoughts that are not true to reality.

    Thoughts that are true to reality may be positive or negative, or feel positive or negative, but for as long as they are true to reality, they will serve you well. On the other hand, if thoughts feel good but are not true to reality, they will do you disservice.

    For example, an extreme example, to make my point: if you think a positive thought like: I can do anything I want, anything I visualize… why, I can fly! Then you go fly and fall, breaking an arm, it is because your thought that you can fly was not true to the reality of gravity. And so, this feel good, positive thought did you a disservice. If you thought instead a cannot-do thought, a negative thought: I cannot fly! That thought, although negative, would have served you well.

    anita

    #163318

    Zee
    Participant

    Hi @Greenshade! Thank you for your response and for your questions – I sincerely appreciate your input and insight.

    Interims of positive change I am looking for includes but are not limited to – having an optimistic outlook for my future, not beating myself up for decisions I make and the consequences that follow, I would like to cultivate an “always willing to learn” mindset vs. “I do not know and am not good enough” mindset. Ideally, I am look forward to all the wonderful rewards I am essentially, promised by practicing “accepting all that comes in the present moment” – I just don’t seem to get the satisfaction and peace and clarity I hear and read accompanies these grounding types of practices. Like, in this present moment I do not have a job even though I deeply desire one, putting in the work to get one daily and have been cultivating a positive outlook about it, even though I visualize myself thriving in the role and working harmoniously will my co-workers. Yet, email, after email I get rejection letters; so I am starting to think and believe this great universe wants me to be suffering and unable to handle my financial responsibilities. Furthermore, this is the 2nd time in 2 yrs I am in the exact same position – out of work, interviewing like crazy -> all turn me down -> unemployment ran out -> behind on rent -> account zeroed out, no help or support from family. Therefore, I just feel tapped out of options because I believe I have tried and done all the right things to produce favorable results.

    Have you or anyone else gone through or felt this way? What did you do to affect positive change?

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 1 day ago by  Zee.
    #163324

    Zee
    Participant

    Hi Anita:

    Thank you for taking the time to read my note and to respond – I appreciate and value your insight. I understand the connection to positive thought and unrealistic outcomes, especially with the case of me attempting to fly knowing I am equipped to w/o the aid of a device to mitigate the natural law of gravity. I believe this is an excellent example to sort of piggy back to bring my situation more realistic – for me, and what I am doing, I believe is trying to achieve goals that are within my potential and ability but all my efforts seems to be rejected. I’m currently unemployed, have gone on many interview – phone that lead to in-person – yet none have turned out favorable. To compound things unemployment (which wasn’t enough to maintain my lifestyle) has ran out, my rent is late, car insurance recently zeroed my account. So, in my opinion a bad situation seems to be getting worst because now, I don’t even have the means to get to an interview if I were to have one.  Mann, I just don’t know how to feel, what to do to literally survive anymore. I’m not sure exactly how people find opportunities when EVERYthing seems to be going south and with no positive reinforcement. I guess that’s the reason I am here – I believe or I hope to get some outside perspective for free, i guess…

    #163326

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Zee:

    You are welcome.

    Your situation: unemployed, multiple interviews with no favorable  results, unemployment ran out, behind on rent, zero balance in bank account.

    I don’t believe that burning sticks and incense, essential oils (palo santo) sage, crystals will work, and as you expressed, they haven’t. I also don’t believe that what you think has power outside your brain. Our thoughts do not have power. It is our behavior alone that does, what we say and do.

    I suggest you abandon what doesn’t work so you don’t waste your resources on what doesn’t work. Think of ideas you didn’t think of before, things that might work. You may want to apply to jobs you did not consider before, employment agencies you didn’t consider before. Maybe reduce your expenses, as in find a less expensive rent/ housing option.

    anita

    #163328

    Zee
    Participant

    Ahhh! *heavy sigh* I have given those suggestions a try as well. I have applied for the jobs that I normally wouldn’t have and have been told I am over qualified for those. For the ones I have direct experience for and a degree in I get rejections letters from those too. I cannot spend (period) I have no money at all. Looking into breaking my lease but that would mean I am on the streets – literally not figuratively. See this is the exactly the reason I try not to thinking about these things because I have been here before – sleeping in my car. sigh.

    #163392

    greenshade
    Participant

    Dear Zee,

    You are welcome :).

    1) It sounds like you have negative thoughts, then try to stop away from those thoughts and move towards more positive thoughts. Maybe you could try paying attention to and identifying the feelings behind the negative thoughts. For example, what does not being good enough feel like? Maybe you could try sitting with that feeling for a while until it naturally passes?

    2) “this is the 2nd time in 2 yrs I am in the exact same position – out of work, interviewing like crazy -> all turn me down -> unemployment ran out -> behind on rent -> account zeroed out, no help or support from family.”

    I am sorry you are in this difficult position.

    I would suggest examining why you are in this position for the second time in two years. Not in a self critical way, but to identify possible areas for action. Were there themes that were common in both situations? Not just in terms of behavior and habits, but also in terms of qualification, job market in your locality, etc.

    I hope you find a way forward that works!

    Best,

    M

    #163454

    Zee
    Participant

    Thank you Greenshade. I will sit and reflect on what you suggested.

    #163498

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Zee:

    You wrote: “I have been here before – sleeping in my car.”-

    What did you do then, in the situation or situations before, similar to this one? What happened then?

    anita

    #163504

    Zee
    Participant

    @anita: interest you ask this because I was thinking about this earlier. When I was in that situation it sucked – it was horrible, but I still went to the library during business hours and applied for jobs, read books etc. I was also doing some house cleaning gigs then I scored a job and slowly climbed my way back out of the financial hole I was in.

    #163512

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Zee:

    At that time, did you promise yourself that it wouldn’t happen again, being in that situation? Did you figure at the time how it happened and whether there were things to do differently than before, so that you will not experience that painful situation again?

    If so, what did you do differently and what caused this situation to happen again?

    anita

    #163524

    Zee
    Participant

    Hi Anita:

    I don’t recall saying that I will never make it happen again because I had left that job (2 yrs) because it was an unsafe and hostile work environment where it was expressed they regret hiring me. Similarly, I left my most recent job because I was experiencing biases and microaggressions. When I voiced theses I was penalized by being removed from accounts and asked to sign a performance improvement plan.  So I am starting think it isn’t worth it to voice my perspective and to accept these types of treatment in order to make a living. It is difficult to accept though.

    #163528

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Zee:

    You left the past job because of “an unsafe and hostile work environment” and the recent job because you experienced “biases and microaggressions”-

    If you would like to elaborate on these two quotes, please do. The reason I suggest that you do, if you so choose, is because I am a big fan of learning from past experiences in order to have a better future, which is what your thread is about: having hope during tough times so to get to a better future, correct?

    I will be away from the computer for 15 hours or so. Take good care of yourself.

    anita

    #163886

    Zee
    Participant

    Hi Anita:

    I as well took a break from email this weekend. I don’t mind explaining further. For the first instance – I say it was an unsafe and hostile work environment because my department supervisor was extremely hostile towards me mentioning she “regret hiring me”,  took me off the account I was hired to work on, essentially demoting me and then putting me on a 30 day performance plan with little direction with a potential outcome that might be unfavorable (loosing my job after the review period)

    The second instance an alley told me the CEO “jokingly” made a comment about a christmas cake I shared with the office having potentially having “weed” in it (because I am originally Jamaican), additionally, my direct supervisor taking me off accounts and not speaking to me directly after pointing out her hostile treatment and that someone on our team quit because she was so intolerable to work with. I was assured by the general manager the situation would have been handled but then I was ask to sign a performance improvement plan while I know they were hiring for my exact role, so I quit.

    Hoping that helps to clarify.

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