Forum Replies Created
May 23, 2018 at 12:42 am #208895
I’m sorry that I’m just now seeing your reply. But thank you so much for the encouragement, the reminder to take a break and that yes-we are all just mere humans!
Thank you again for all your kind words. They make a difference. 🙂
Take care!May 23, 2018 at 12:40 am #208893
I’m just now seeing your response. It’s profound and so accurate – from longing for love in a space lacking it to carrying around old emotional baggage.
I’ve done a lot of contemplating in the past month, mostly because these feelings have stuck with me. And I realized that they continue to stick with me because I’m holding onto them, because I’m still longing for love from my space of loneliness. I wouldn’t know that I was lonely, but I know that holding on to feelings from so long ago and for so long points to that conclusion. I started to think about people I know who were stuck in the past, and I realized that they did that at times in their life that weren’t full of life or happiness. Looking back signals a lack of something in the present or a refusal to see and face the present. I guess my boredom and loneliness has turned me back.
Although I’m now conscious of what this all means, I am glad that I have taken the opportunity to look back and analyze who I was and who I am now, and the patterns of living that I have carried a long way. I now have better insight and tools to look at the situation again and see it for what it is, and maybe try to heal what was hurt so long ago. Despite all of this, I still come to a point where I wish that I had had those tools, or a positive mentor back then. I almost mourn for my teenage self who needed some help with learning how to deal with life in a positive way.
All in all, I’m grateful for the experience and very grateful for your helpful insight. I still feel pangs of regret and longing that seem uncontrollable (at night I tell myself to let it all go!), but it’s probably just because I’m indulging in the memories.
The brain and the body are so fascinating.
Thank you again!February 22, 2015 at 8:48 am #73138
So I’m not living in a country foreign to me, literally, I’m living in the suburbs of Chicago! But compared with everywhere I’ve lived on the planet, including other countries, this place feels the most foreign. Normally, I would give a place a year to try it out, but since this decision involves lots and lots of money being invested in school, it’s not really an option. I’m either out at the end of the semester or in for good.
I’m thinking of moving into the city in a couple of months. It’ll be very hard, since I don’t have a car and need one to commute out to the suburbs for school, but I think the trouble outweighs the difficulties of living in a place with no social contact. I do need social outlets to retain my sanity, so as much as I’m tempted to just become a loner for the next 2 years, I know that it would lead to a lot of pain and misery.
Thank you for your feedback!February 21, 2015 at 7:06 am #73091
Inky – thank you for those kind words. I’m so grateful for your support. I’ll take your advice and focus on who I want to be, not who they want me to be. If the universe isn’t laughing at me right now, I’m guessing it’s giving me what I need to do that.
I’ll let you know how things turn out in a couple of years. I’ll keep your supportive words in my head to help me through the days. 🙂
Hugs to you!February 20, 2015 at 5:21 pm #73084
I just wanted to add that not wanting to promote the pain and suffering that these people who treat others may feel is what keeps me from flipping out and becoming a miserable person. It makes me more determined to want to shine my light and smile in the face of their mean. But inside my heart really hurts, and I don’t want it to hurt.February 11, 2015 at 7:34 am #72621
Nice Jessa! I had a total AHA! moment while reading your post. Everything you said is spot-on. Thanks so much for sharing!February 10, 2015 at 6:20 pm #72601
Haha, Inky. That’s hilarious! Great to hear your experience and perspective!
AikiBen, such great advice. I didn’t even think of this situation enabling me to grow. I just was stuck on why I react this way and not wanting to react. And yep, the ego is telling me lots of stories about how I should be and how others should act. I guess I need to keep these things in mind and try not to let my feelings and thoughts overwhelm me to the point of becoming cynical.
Thank you for your help. Your perspective really changed the way I feel about the situation!December 19, 2014 at 12:01 am #69495
Ditto, Matthew and jdkm. My heart still aches and over a year has passed. I fear the day that I may learn of my Ex’s new relationship.
Heart hugs to both of you. Give yourself and the pain lots of love and attention right now and remember that though we may be suffering, were also being given the opportunity to feel the rawness of emotion and the capacity of our hearts.December 18, 2014 at 11:49 pm #69494
Just wanted to say that you’re not alone. I too feel as you have written. Though I say to myself, this will pass, I’m suffering because my sorrows are still as deep as they were 18 months ago and not getting any easier. I am trying to build the resources I need to pick myself up and not get so buried by my emotions and suffering. I’m curious what types of resources you utilize in times of despair… Does remembering your loved ones help? Your strengths and times when you picked yourself up and persevered in the face of challenging situations?
Sending you healing energy and strength.
LeilaOctober 5, 2014 at 12:20 pm #66004
Thank you for sharing your encouraging words and the links to that site. I read through the articles and found them to be uplifting. They kind of covered all the thoughts I’ve been having.
I’m trying to figure out what I’m living for. I’m not necessarily searching for happiness. I think I’m needing the connection and fulfillment of partnership and taking care of others which seems so out of reach.
Can one truly feel content without friends and lived ones to share a life with?