Thank you Anita

he is very into my values and his values in live are the same as mine.he is very supportive and knows what my motives in life are and loves the way I think and feel about live values so I don’t think it’s that so much.

maybe I’m am very shallow, only sometimes do I find him attractive and also sometimes I think he can be to nice so there is no mystery.

its confusing how when you meet the loveliest most caring person you do like them as much as you hoped.

thank you for your supportive once again

sophie

Hi Anita and Inky

thank you so much for you help.

Anita, I kind of get you but I just still don’t understand why sometimes I like him and sometimes I don’t?? Is it just the case I like? I think I’m being really shallow but I can’t help it. He’s so nice so when I finally have my everything why am I finding faults! ?

thank you

soohie

Thank you so much for replying I really appreciate your thoughts and I do agree with them yes! I also find it hard when he says that kind of mixed messages stuff… the thing is he says it with such love and understanding, “I truly truly love you and I never want to loose you” so I think that’s why I am so confused, in a way its making me resent him a little, this only happened yesterday and right now I cant/don’t want to see/talk to him, not in a tasty way but in a way of I don’t understand how he could treat me with so little respect, he saw the hurt I was going through yet didn’t bother to tell me this until I asked, so yes maybe he is not emotionally invested in me. But then I think back and he seems so loving and caring, all cuddles and kisses.

I have struggled in the past waning me from him, I mean with out sounding crazy I feel I do sweet things to show my love towards him, like leave little notes or just make an effort to see if he need anything thought his day yet I get nothing like that in return, is that him being a boy or not emotionally invested?

I do find him very very attractive yes and now you say it when I think about him being kind, caring and if I love him no matter how hard I try there is almost like a mental block so I find myself not actually being able to answer that… I also do like that he is into his sports, and he is very independent, he says he will work hard for us to have a happy life and family, so how am I supposed to feel after he says that… every girls wants that 🙁 maybe he isn’t the one for me!

He says he knows this is all his fault and has commitment issues that he needs to work on so I know the answer is staring at me in the face MOVE ON SOPHIE!!!! I just find it hard.

Thank you once again

Sophie

Hi Anita

I’m so sorry to be emailing you again, I’m sitting at my desk thing “why why why” why do I feel the need to get support of this great site and why can’t I just deal with this on my own! I just want to be chill about this stupid situation, but I can’t! I can’t just let it be. I spoke with my dad last night and finally told him and his was response was “do you want me to tell you it’s going to be ok, because it won’t, you will cry a lot and you will be sad but Sophie what will be will be – you don’t have a crystal ball so just be calm” me and my dad are super close and just how he says theses thing makes my mind clear for just five minutes but when I’m on my own and I’m bored my mind goes mad! One thing to the next. It’s like I have emotional bipolar.

So Pete (the boyfriend) has been away for just over a week – he is sending me loving text like “you are the sunshine in my life – you are my one and only” (gross but cute ha) when I talk to my friends about this, they are very protective of my and remind me about the past, when he was seeing me and another girl at the same time, when we were out in the club and I saw him get with another….. this club situation was about 3 years ago but still to this day makes me feel so sick inside. And I think how can someone do that to me, treat me with such disrespect but then I think maybe he has grown up and he really does love me and want to marry me like he says he does! I feel myself trying to justify his actions to myself and others – what does this mean?

I can’t belive how my mind it going 100 miles an hour’s 24/7 and he is just so cool about it – when I talk to him and say stuff like “it will kill me when we have to say good bye” (makes me feel sick inside just typing that!) He always says yes I find it so hard too and I’m going to hate it but he never voices it AT ALL and im the one going to bed almost every night crying .

I’m so nervous about losing our connection, sexually and emotionally but part of me whilst writing this is like “are you Sophie” my mind is just so confused, it’s almost like I’m going away to see if I can find better and if not I will come back to him. In some ways I fell I deserve better because I give sooooo much love to him and feel I might not get the same in return? Just because he says nice things to me doesn’t mean that enough does it?

I think im looking for answers to questions I don’t even know if that makes any sense at all – ive never been so confused in my life!

I really am sorry if this makes no sense at all but that’s because my brain is fried.

Thank you for you kind help you have no idea howmuch it means x

Most certainly not married and not thinking of it 🙂 You are extremely right in what you write – Traveling is my passion, it makes me happy and there are no arguments with travel. My biggest test is thinking I’m missing out but as your rightly put it, what drives him .. the answer is his work and sport sport sport! In a way I do feel he will find it easy for me to leave and will just move on – but I cant blame him, this is the 3rd time I have been traveling so I guess its not settling for him either!

Thank you so much for your honesty, although its via email chat you honestly have mad me see the light a little clearer. I just hope I have the strength to be strong when I leave.

All the best, Sophie

Your suggestion is bang on! I think what has happened to me in the past I feel like I always need to feel loved (from partners or a lover) but then when I have it I throw it away as I like to travel and that is my true passion. I get what you mean by not all men are kind but how can I tell the difference? he says he loves me, he cares deeply for me, although im not 100 per-cent sure I trust him as he has slept with a few girl since I was away (but shouldn’t he, I left him) I feel he is extremely good looking so could get any girl, why bother girl me if I’m crazy in this relationship, but he still tells me its only me he wants – but I don’t want to be the fool.

I’m extremely passionate about my life and living it to the fullest – I am a very emotional spiritual person and just feel slightly lost and confused! I am going away. As I read this I feel im going round in circles – if I was to stay and not travel would I be 100 per-cent satisfied with him? im not sure but I would like to think I would! he is very attached to his job and sport, which I fully support but I do sometimes feel like a third wheel to him, am I a crazy girl to feel like he should play me more attention or is that me anxiety kicking in? so hard to tell!

Thank you again – Please come to Canada with me and keep me sane 🙂 haha!