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spats1996

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  • spats1996
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    Anne: Yes, I know that I wasn’t being authentic, but she didn’t deserve what I did to her. I acted like a spoiled child. I should have just accepted it and been a true friend. At least, it would have been better than losing her.

    spats1996
    Participant

    Anita: I definitely understand what you are saying now. I really don’t want to repeat history sort of speak. My rejection is mostly caused by my stuttering. I feel inferior to people because of it. Another possible reason is because of my older cousin. He made me feel like my normal self wasn’t acceptable. He tried to change my appearance and how I would interact towards people. Basically, I think because of him that being myself isn’t good enough. I have to make myself sound better in order to fit in. So, I think that’s why I made up the story of the house. As far as my parents, ever since I started doing well in school from an early age I was pressured and expected to do well in school. I was always afraid to disappoint my parents, especially my dad. So, I tried to please him in every aspect of my life. Maybe always trying to please people made me lie to her. Anyways, it really doesn’t matter because she probably will never want to talk to me. I’ve given up.

    spats1996
    Participant

    I think I lied because I’m afraid of rejection. That is why I lied about it all. I thought that if I wasn’t interesting that she would drop me. It stems from me being so insecure. I tried pushing her away because I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings for her. I thought that if I told her the truth that she would reject me and end the friendship. I never once hinted that I liked her. I don’t think that she doesn’t want to contact me because she thinks that I like her. She thinks that I’m a horrible person because I lied. She probably thinks that everything that I confided in her is a lie. I don’t think she cares anymore. I’m just very upset over this whole thing. What makes it worse is that I caused all this to happen.

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)