“How do you meet new people when you’re both afflicted with a certain level of shyness, self-inflicted cynicism about your own worth and have a lack of interests?”

I still say try changing your habits one at a time. There are many self-help books on Amazon for this purpose (Miracle Morning, The Power of Habit…). You have many, many thoughts. Maybe you could try balancing your thoughts with your “doing.” Do more, think less.

Did something happen to you as a child? Maybe issues with your parents? I’ve found that issues with my parents has affected my adulthood and I’ve tried reconciling with that. Perhaps dealing directly with the source of the pain can help resolve your issues.

So interesting to see this. I feel I am the woman in this relationship, except I NEVER cheated. That is where SHE went wrong. I, too, felt I hated my husband and that I was living a fake life. Because we had children, I felt powerless because I couldn’t leave. So, why did I feel this way? I believe I wasn’t understood by him; that he didn’t truly know who I was and didn’t see my potentials and didn’t encourage me to be a better person. I felt he was trying to drag me down so he could feel better about himself or so he didn’t have to strive to be better himself. It took me about 9 years to realize this. And it took comments from people outside our relationship for me to even take notice of it. I was becoming a person I didn’t recognize anymore and it was driving me crazy. When I finally realized what the source was, I decided to take action. I thought about finding intimate relationships with other people, even if it was just talking; I thought about leaving in the middle of the night with my children; but what would that do to my karma? I would have this unresolved issue always on my back, so I decided to face the issue head on. I went straight to the source and threatened I would leave him. I told him I hated him and that I was living a fake life and that I was fake because he treated me with disrespect, sometimes passive-aggressively, sometimes outright in front of other people. (According to an article on this site, I was in a very TOXIC relationship. And I have to say, I am not perfect, but I consider myself to be a happy, spiritual, open-minded individual.) I expressed myself in the deepest, most passionate way possible to me. I screamed, I cried, I let all my fears out in the open. I told him everything I was feeling so he could really see it was real. Now this wasn’t the first time I tried to communicate with him. I had actually tried on several occasions over many years because I just FELT that something was not right between us. I think where YOU went wrong was not taking her seriously. Now, that does NOT justify what she did to you. Cheating is definitely betrayal. I believe the best relationships have open, honest communication where both people understand each other without judgement and help lift each other up to become better people. I agree with tree of life. Try changing your name. I hope my side of my story will give you some insight to what happened in yours. All the best to you.