Hi Lil Lilly, so sorry to hear that you are feeling so down at the moment, and so tearful. It sounds as though you have a lot of pressure on you, what with the studying, work, volunteering and all of your other commitments. Maybe you are physically exhausted and perhaps this is impacting on your mental health now? It doesn’t sound as if it is the best time to decide about whether to be living somewhere else, like Europe, if you are trying to cope with a break up from your European boyfriend? You may be chasing the dream, rather than dealing with the reality? Have you ever heard of Mindfulness? There are some good books you can read about it, and basically it gets you to concentrate on the moment in time, rather than looking back or forward, and it helps you to realize that whilst we are worrying about tomorrow we are missing out on the here and now, and also how many times we are so busy that it doesn’t even truly register what we are doing!!! I am glad to hear that you are going to talk to a counsellor, sometimes it does help to voice your concerns and fears and help you to sort out your thoughts about things. I would suggest that you put off making any big decisions until you are feeling much better. Just remember, the past has gone and we can’t do anything to change it, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet so we can’t even guess what it will be like, so we may as well work on appreciating the here and now 🙂
Best Wishes
Sarah-Jane

Hi again Yohannes,
please please seek some help and open up to someone about how you are feeling, there are genuine people out there who will be more than ready to give you the support and help that you need right now. Don’t be afraid to get help, lots of us have experienced or are experiencing problems similar to yours and know the desperation you are talking about, and the pain that you want to get out of. You really are worth a million regardless of the lack of a job currently, or the lack of education.( A friend of mine started studying at the age of 50 something, and loved and appreciated it all the more because she was really ready to do it!). Your girlfriend wouldn’t still be with you if she didn’t feel strongly about you, and I bet she would never want to be without you!!! Your dog would be heartbroken if you weren’t around, their bond with humans is so strong, they feel loss too :-(. Try to make a little plan of taking your dog for a lovely walk in the park each day, and before long you may find that being out in the fresh air, meeting other people and seeing nature around you may help a tiny bit at least? Maybe you could gradually build up a few more minutes each day, and in time perhaps two walks a day…..? You will feel happier knowing that your lovely dog is enjoying him/herself. While you are walking you could try to remember some of the things you used to enjoy when you were feeling happier, maybe some kind of sport/art/music etc. Perhaps you could start to listen to your favourite music for a while each day, music can be great for lifting the spirits too. Another idea would be to make two lists opposite each other, one of the problems you are experiencing, eg unemployed, or lack of education, etc, and in the other column a list of simple alternatives even if they are not total solutions – for example, you may feel that you are not as educated as you would like to be, but perhaps you could borrow a book from the library on your favourite subject and learn some more about it? I think the key thing with all of this is DON’T GIVE UP, THERE IS HELP OUT THERE, and there may be other solutions even if they are not directly the ones you were expecting to have or achieve? We are all still out here rooting for you, and really want you to get some medical help now!!!!!!!!!!! One day you will look back and won’t be able to believe how you managed to pull yourself up out of these feelings and this situation, but you will. There is one thing sure about life and that is that it constantly changes, so even depressive type feelings have to change at some point :-). Surround yourself with people who you love, and most of all love yourself and give yourself a great big break. It is not your fault that you don’t have work, it is not your fault that you have not had the education you would have liked to have, it is also not your fault that you do not have your family around you. You are a decent person who has had some rough times and deserves peace and happiness, maybe you will find a little of that when you stop blaming yourself, and thinking your girlfriend would be better off without you? If you ask her I am sure she wouldn’t want to be without you for a month, let alone a lifetime. A tiny thing that can sometimes help a little is to write a gratitude journal – something like this (3 things each day?): I am grateful that my dog came and sat with me when I was feeling so sad. I am grateful that my friends on Tiny Buddha are all rooting for me :-). I am grateful that my girlfriend came home from work and spent time with me. etc. Please let us know how you get on with seeking some help, and also if any of the little ideas help. I (and others) will be looking out for your next post, so cut yourself a great big slack, do some little things you enjoy, and get help asap.
All best wishes, sunshine and smiles sent your way, and all fingers and toes crossed for the best help possible for you! Sarah – Jane.

Hi Lizzie,
even if you were wanting to have a child it can be nerve wracking thinking it is time for it to happen for real! Cut yourself some slack, there is no need to decide right this minute. Perhaps you could make some time to sit down with your partner and discuss the matter, and be open and honest? He may just be thinking this is what you both agreed? Any baby deserves to be born to two parents who really want him or her, so take your time and if necessary put your decision on the back burner for a while, and maybe once the pressure is off you will really be able to feel what you want, and do the right thing? You are not being unreasonable at all, we all say we want to do things or discuss our dreams, but it doesn’t often happen that way. Just remember that what you said or thought was not set in stone and you are more than able to re-consider, alter, delay, or change your dreams. If your partner truly loves you they will not want you to do anything that you are not yet comfortable with. Allow yourself time and space, and when you are ready to decide one way or another you will know, in the meantime……….communicate, communicate, communicate!!!!
Follow your dreams
Sarah Jane 🙂

Hi Yohannes, so sorry to hear you are feeling so down, and hopeless. Always try to remember that you are a unique person in your own right regardless of job title, qualifications etc. Feeling a burden to others happens a lot to people who are feeling depressed, I bet if you asked your friends and family to write down at least one good thing each about you they would be able to think of great qualities you have immediately! Perhaps you could do a little voluntary work, it is surprising how much it can help a person feel better by giving to others, and is a great way of meeting people and feeling valued. Share your thoughts and fears with someone you can trust, or speak to a counsellor or minister, whoever you think you feel comfortable approaching. It is the pain of your emotions that is making you feel like this, and I bet it is not at all a reflection of the true you. In the words of a song…….keep smiling, keep shining, :-). We are all out here rooting for you and ready to give some moral support if you need it, don’t give up, things will change when you least expect them to !!! Good wishes and smiles – Sarah Jane