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Sunita

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  • #212513
    Sunita
    Participant

    Hey Sue.. awwww that’s awful. I couldn’t handle seeing my ex at all. How do you manage? Mixed blessing that he doesn’t live near me. Do you really believe that it won’t hurt one day? I’m just kind of pissed off that the longing is still there.. I wish it would go away. What Anita wrote was really helpful but .. maybe it’s that we feel shortchanged? Maybe that’s part of it? Feeling like we were dealt a cruel twist of fate… hmm.. maybe that’s the part that’s so hard to let go of? I had a vision of myself in an alternate life. I saw for a moment in time me with him 7 years on. And in this vision I was miserable. Utterly hollow. So I know that (in my head) it wouldn’t have been nice to be with him. However I feel shortchanged, rejected, unhappy and bitter about it. Can you relate?

    #212509
    Sunita
    Participant

    Yes Anita… I was thinking about what you wrote for the last few days. If it was meant to be by some higher power..then rightly so it would have happened. I didn’t look at it that way but I need to. It’s hard to let go though. To really stop wanting something that you’ve held on to for so long. I think it’s become like a type of habit.

    #212507
    Sunita
    Participant

    Hi Richie,

    It sucks when this happens. It’s ok to miss her but sometimes being friends with someone who you actually have romantic feelings for is just plain going to hurt you. You need to be sure that you could handle her being with another new guy and not being bothered by it. If you can’t imagine that then there’s no real friendship. It’s a smokescreen for your true feelings and she probably knows that. You have to turn all that longing you have for her in on yourself. Start building your self esteem. You have just written some not very nice things about yourself. Try to change the tape that’s playing in the background. And remember, she is just one person. Yes she may have for whatever reason rejected you but there will be women who will adore you. Caveat.. you must start to feel good about yourself first… This girl is rejecting you but she is just mirroring how you are treating yourself. Try to see it as a lesson. You deserve far far more.

    #212317
    Sunita
    Participant

    Hi Anita, thanks that’s pretty grounded advice. I do have that belief and it’s true what you wrote. I need to really question the F*** out of why I have cemented that  we will be together again as a truth or conviction. It’s not just a feeling you’re right. Do you have any thoughts about how to deconstruct a long held conviction? Thank you <3

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)