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Hopeful_human

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • #55498
    Hopeful_human
    Participant

    Thank you Jasmine-3 and Big blue for the kind words. I am starting to reel slowly out of this and I hope things will be better if not great moving forward both for me and for her. I always wished and still wish good things for her. I hope she gets what she wants in life, preferably and hopefully in legitimate and ethical ways. I pray God to help her. Again, my love was true and nothing is going to change that fact. I think it is incredible to be loved by someone – I hope I will find a soul who can love me truly and lives with me for that love.

    #55419
    Hopeful_human
    Participant

    Hello Folks,

    Just an update….I have decided to part away with my wife as I do not want to continue the relationship with her. It is not fair to any of us to continue. I have asked my wife to be with her parents, so she has left the US and currently now in India with her parents. The court in India has given us 6 months time, if I do not reconsider the decision, it is final and we will be legally separated. It is going to be hard 6 months for me since I have loved her so much – every bits and pieces in the house reminds me of her. On the other day I saw a string of her hair in the comb and I felt so depressed and sad seeing that…I do not know why. I think what I am missing is my love towards her. It is clear that she did not love me (lately at least) and removed me from her heart. I doubt if she can betray me keeping me in the heart. Anyways, as I said, it is going to be difficult 6 months period for me. I hope I can come out of this.

    #53616
    Hopeful_human
    Participant

    Changed my name to hopeful_human

    #53615
    Hopeful_human
    Participant

    Dear Kelly, thank you so much for the reply.

    As you said i have been constantly asking, what is wrong with me? What did i miss? Surely, there must be something otherwise why would she preferred some one else. May be that person is better looking, more sexy, dashing? I must be the most unloveable person who cant even win over his wife. I must be not appealing, physically unattractive. I am a person who failed to understand his own wife. Did i pain her so much and made our marriage a jail for her, that she was looking to escape once she got the wings?

    May be these questions have no meaning or may be there are no answers to these. One thing i can definitely say is that my love has been always true, no faking, and trusted her in all situations even on suspectable situations, since i loved her so much. I probably would gave believed if she has committed a robbery or even murder, but not this – cheating. I was always, a dedicated husband, at least, that us what i think.

    #53574
    Hopeful_human
    Participant

    Thank you Stripes. I am so sorry to hear that you went through such a trouble in your life and hope things are better or at least getting better for you.

    My wife could be partially the way you were, but I was always taking her seriously. But the problem is she told me that she did not love and the life she was leading was a fake only recently, I believe after she has started the affair. Before that she was always positive, even when we fought she used to tell me that it is okay and we can move on. She was so dormant to get what she wanted, only last one year she started to go for a job and somehow become financially independent (she started saving her earning in a separate account, and when I asked she said not to think about that money and asked that we keep that as a safety net. For me money is not important at all and I never suspected any foul play or she was doing it with an ulterior motive). I brought her to the US (we both came from India), taught her everything here, everything from scratch, educated her (sent her to college for MS degree) and helped her to find a job. If she has not been loving me why she stayed with me and why she took my love, gifts, efforts, energy, thoughts and everything. She very well know that I loved her. She could have rejected all of these. I think this is where she became very selfish and did not want to shake the boat until she stabilizes herself. We do not have any kids. We postponed child birth, because she insisted that she wanted a job/career. So this is not a show stopper if she wanted to leave. Now I think back, I realize that she postponed because she can check out easily if we do not have kids. Once we have kids, then the commitment can be a block for her. How selfish!

    As I was telling tree of life,

    My love has been always true and unconditional towards her. She even mentioned that no body in this world can love her like I do. Only after 10yrs of marriage, she is telling that her part of the love was not real – I was so shocked and still in the state of shock. I learned that she cheated on me over a year only a few weeks back. I am totally in disbelief as I feel as a victim (sorry to use this word) of a big con. How can she do this to me – betray and backstab- I am not an enemy nor a stranger – but a person who truly loves her and have been even willing to give my blood and life to her at all times. Not loving is one thing, cheating is actually rubbing salt on a bad bleeding injury.

    Thanks again Stripes.

    #53573
    Hopeful_human
    Participant

    Thank you Kimball. You are right, a few words can destroy a lot of emotional investment. Really ruthless, no empathy how it will come across to the other person, especially a person who loves her so much. I will try to seek some therapy/help. Thanks again.

    #53572
    Hopeful_human
    Participant

    Thank you Tree of Life. I will exercise your advise, since I am lost, it is total darkness for me. I need ray of lights like the advise you gave me to pull me out of this. I know it is going to be very challenging for me.

    My love has been always true and unconditional towards her. She even mentioned that no body in this world can love her like I do. Only after 10yrs of marriage, she is telling that her part of the love was not real – I was so shocked and still in the state of shock. I learned that she cheated on me over a year only a few weeks back. I am totally in disbelief as I feel as a victim (sorry to use this word) of a big con. How can she do this to me – betray and backstab- I am not an enemy nor a stranger – but a person who truly loves her and have been even willing to give my blood and life to her at all times. Not loving is one thing, cheating is actually rubbing salt on a bad bleeding injury.

    I know I am seeking advise on the internet, but I believe God finds his way to me through any means. I hope with His grace I will come out of this soon.

    Thanks again. I will also change my registration name.

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)