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tartaruga

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  • #333685
    tartaruga
    Participant

    I have to be very brief with my post here and will come back to you later,  but I think it’s worth mentioning right off the bat that I think you’re doing a good job so far. not a lot of people would be so understanding of his situation. I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that his symptoms at one point were truly schizophrenic if that’s any consolation. symptoms of depression can present in strange ways. I myself was diagnosed with mild OCD several years ago on  top of the major depressive disorder I’ve had all my life. it took two traumatic events I had in quick succession which triggered my obsessive thinking and it fried my brain. It took a few years of introspection, cognitive behavioral therapy and learning from Buddhist ideology to help me check my intrusive and irrational thoughts. I’ll  summarize for now by saying: “don’t give up hope, I think you’re on the right track!”

    #333601
    tartaruga
    Participant

    Overall to me it sounds like you may be too “evolved” and unique for your physical surroundings. that’s not a euphemism, it’s complimentary. it sounds like not just your parents but your town on the whole make for a close minded environment. Maybe taking yourself out of these physical surroundings will help you to flourish and find yourself without feeling like you’re under the yoke of all these people around you. I know you have job obligations there but unless youre pulling in 6 figures, maybe taking the plunge and moving will open up a new world to you. If you move to a region that is more open minded and liberal (i’m not trying to get political here) you will more like minded friends and lovers who are going to accept you for the way you choose to live as long as youre not intentionally hurting anyone. I live in downstate NY and in my area if one was to tell a new girlfriend that they’re bi, I honestly think in the majority of cases they would say something along the lines of: “cool. so where did you want to go to dinner tonight?”  when you say: “My family honestly makes me feel very small for not being in a relationship. My father tells me how disappointed he is with me not having a wife and kids yet.” it seems to me like they want you to settle. but you know what happens when people settle when they know they are with the wrong person? they ( no offence intended) end up like your mother’s situation with your father and I have a feeling you don’t want to be in her shoes. There is very literally an entire world outside of your town. there are over 7 billion people on this planet, and having the blessing of being bi gives you many more options than your average straight or gay guy out there when it comes to finding a partner! Go exploring…live YOU’RE life! not the life your family wants you to live! a new world and a new tomorrow are waiting for you, but you have to make the first step because no one will do it for you. best wishes and good luck!

    #333223
    tartaruga
    Participant

    I’m going to be the only one to advise you not to rush into anything as extreme as a divorce before speaking to a professional if they are readily available in your area. I don’t have time to expand on my post here right now and I certainly don’t want to diminish everyone else’s advice but some things in my opinion shouldn’t hinge on the advice of others over the internet. there are many, many facets to your relationship that we all couldn’t possibly know about unless we knew you well and these are the things that a professional therapist could use to piece together a puzzle over time that may help you see things clearer. Or if your mind is 100% made up, they might help you during the divorce process to make things easier. Either way I wish you both the best. Good luck!

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