Forum Replies Created
September 27, 2023 at 7:10 pm #422548
Oh no I have learned to see reality more, so please be as blunt as you’d like. I enjoy the perspectives. I in my single life have not only focused on developing myself but also my career. I have reached higher levels in the banking industry and will continue until I have the financial freedom I desire (not like a millionaire, just enough to buy me a beach house). I’ve been also trying to get back in shape, the pandemic made me gain 20 lbs! I also moved to a whole another state to really get a fresh start and so far I’ve been able to pinpoint who deserves to be in my life. I think I also turned a blind eye to friends who were not right for me either. I stopped trying to be friends with people who never really want to be friends with me. And I am okay with that because you know what you can’t make everyone like you. It’s ok, there is always somebody in the world who really wants to be my friend. I don’t have to wear my heart on my sleeve for anybody. Have I turned cold and selfish haha? I am just protecting my heart more and loving me more. If I don’t love myself who will right? Well actually my cats love me regardless I think.September 12, 2023 at 9:46 pm #422036
Oh no please don’t apologize 🙂 You gave me lots to think about and I was and am still great full hence why I returned.
Be a better version of my myself.
Well over the course of that 5 year relationship I learned I needed to be more forgiving but still firm on what I was looking for. Had I been more assertive in what I wanted and not drag it to what it was maybe we would have been less hurt. For me to leave the relationship 3 times and come back 2 times was not healthy. It gave no value to a relationship. It presented itself as a doormat on both sides and nothing stable. I was always expecting something, something to change but I missed the moments of reality. What the relationship truly was. I loved with blind eyes until the 3rd time I left, I left for myself and nothing else. The first 2 times was for him and coming back the 2 times was for him. The 3rd time I left I chose me, I prioritized me in what I wanted and needed. I think I was trying to mold myself too, to fit him and force a happy relationship. It’s been 1.5 years since I spoke to him and over that time I almost went into a mourning phase because I realized we just weren’t right for each other no matter how hard we tried. I was also resentful, for him not loving me the way I loved him. But then I realized how do I know he didn’t, I am just over here assuming things. I think before I just couldn’t shake the feeling that we were meant to be but that was childish. It was just an attachment to familiarity is what I was experiencing. The feeling of lack of emotion, distance, separation anxieties, and quality time. All what I experienced growing up. Funny how the deepest heart aches teaches you the lesson you needed. If I ever met this man again I would sincerely wish him the best and hope he finds the one he was meant for. I’ll never know why he never dared to propose. Maybe I was just too crazy to him lol. I am still super single and I am just having fun by myself with my two cats. Occasionally I go out with some friends to keep up the human interactions. I am doing things alone that I never thought I’d do before. I am trying and learning to be happy with my own company. That’s me so far.
TeeSeptember 12, 2023 at 7:47 am #422013
I wonder if I’m remembered but 3 years have went by and 1.5 yrs since I finally left the relationship. I realized this person was never going to propose to me. I was trying to be loved in a way that was never going to happen. I realized in the end I was sure of what I wanted and he was still unsure of what he wanted. I was always solid in my decision to be a wife and have a family but it seems like in the end he wanted to still explore life and other things. Took me 5 years to realize I was in a dead and relationship and 10 years to realize my parent’s relationship had more of a toll on my mental health than I realized. I have completely removed myself from that dynamic by being in a different state and I am slowly discovering what parts of me needs more healing. I am living a life that 5 yrs ago I never thought I’d live and just enjoying my own company. I will soon be entering therapy for reals this time and hope to be a better version of myself.