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Terri

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  • in reply to: How to fix a toxic relationship #380405
    Terri
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    I am in a similar situation as Uncertain certainties. I find myself chasing after my husband. We have been separated for over a year. He does not help me at all financially. He is always out with friends and blowing all of his money at the bars.  He tells me he is busy when I call and that I text too much and if I keep it up, he will block me. He only seems to want to see me on some weekends and that is usually when he is broke and wanting me to foot the bill. When he does see me, he acts totally different to me in person in front of others. Introduces me to people, this is my wife, holds my hand, kind of like a trophy wife to people is what he want’s them to see until he gets ticked at me then I am discarded again and am being punished by his neglect. He does not feel he does any wrong and only cuts me down when I express my feelings.  I feel like this is a form of mental abuse towards me on his part and he can’t seem to make a decision. If I tell him he does not have his priorities in order and doesn’t want any obligations he gets upset and tells me his schedule does not revolve around me and if I think he is going to live back with me and not go to bars when I am work then I have another thing coming because I am not his boss. If I try not to text him, I get anxious wondering what he is doing. If I stay strong and don’t text him at all for days, he will not care because he is having a blast everyday. I won’t hear from him and he is fine with that. Meanwhile, I am anxious, hurt, can’t sleep, can’t concentrate.  I know this isn’t healthy at all. I feel like I am the only one who tries to make things right and keep chasing my husband like Hey, I am over here….don’t forget me….what about me? Then the same weekly occurrence happens. He is never wrong. I feel stuck trying to hold on to a marriage that isn’t growing but can’t seem to move forward. I am 50 now and can’t picture myself starting over and ever thinking of another relationship at my age if this one doesn’t work out. I want this marriage to work but I know it takes both to make it work. I would like some advise.

     

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