No, no, please analyze all you want. We all need to make sense of the world. This is just so you know Zen is all about the actualization of the enlightened mind. Shikantaza. Of course, such practices really do require a good teacher.

I think I saw Peter’s story in a Doctor Who episode. How a race of people picked up on a piece of truth and made a religion out of it. LOL.

Another short story, …

An emperor, who was known for his foul temper, entered the bedroom of his soon-to-be-bride. She was being forced to marry him against her will as it was a duty she had to do for her family.

“Hello” he said to her, but she didn’t answer.
“I said hello to you. And you will respond when I talk you! Do you understand me??” he snapped at her. She didn’t reply.

He angrily asked, “What are you thinking?”

After a long silence, she answered him. “Two things. One, that I do not wish to marry you because you are mean and disrespectful. And the second thing is that I was wondering if you have it within your power to have something changed.”

“What!” the emperor exclaimed with anger. “How dare you question my authority! Since I can do anything with the snap of my fingers and whatever I command within my kingdom will be done, what is it you are wondering I could change?”

“Your attitude,” she quipped. And with that she got up and walked out of the bedroom, leaving him in silence.

My wife has got me trained. When she ask about anything that I have done, I shout back that it was done right. Then she goes about explaining. I listen and apologize for yelling. There is no anger. Just something we do as an old married couple.

There was a monk who complained that he could not sit in perfect meditation. The master said that the act of sitting in the struggle with the wandering mind is the what is sought. The struggle itself is the way. So, not perfection but the struggle is the path to Nirvana.

I was cracked when I was made. And that has made all the difference. Whether bad or good, well that depends on where you stand and what you see as obvious. For me, it was a time of fear of being found out. Of not being normal. Not being accepted. Not being able to prove myself as worthy. Now, being much older and closer to death, it doesn’t seem to matter as much. It becomes easier to accept my flaws for they will never change even though I listen for advice to change.

Anita,

Thanks for the reply. Umm, the finger in terms of health anxiety? Well, getting the finger in terms of health means something doesn’t like you being healthy. Nothing personal. Just bad luck. If I were to get bad news like the big C. Cancer then okay. Accept and move on .. the best I can. Don’t hate the cancer. Don’t dread the shortened lifespan. Just do what you think best with the time you have. There was a short video on Youtube which the woman was getting a speeding ticket. She didn’t care because the court date was past her expiration date. Later, she was rude to people she didn’t like. It was funny. Because people who would have been important has now become something else. And it was due to the way one looks at life, with what value.

Having anxiety in life’s situation is about how one thinks about or feels about the situation. If we give up on expectations and live in the moment then it could release some tension?? Sort of saying, Is that so?. The story of the man accused of being the father of the baby of the pregnant girl. The truth comes out after he takes care of the baby for a year. The girl and the real father of the baby want the baby back. If the man lamented his bad luck then he would suffer the incident again. Making his suffering worse. Instead did what he had to do as life presented itself.

Well, this is the way I see it. Only my opinion which doesn’t mean a whole lot. And should not be taken as advice for surely I am the one who needs advice the most. Listen and learn. Even if the words don’t make sense for now. Speaking of which, …. Looking up to the moon. Its meaning could be like religious people’s concern for getting into heaven. It is something far off. Don’t know if it is true. But, we think we can see it and reach for it. Sometimes, I wish I could dream another dream and live another life. Then, here I am again.