Freedom is not the goal. Experiencing the truth about ourselves is. Then wisdom and compassion arises from that experience. From receiving the wisdom and compassion, the freedom in our lives is allowed to flow from our presence. Joy and suffering is what life presents to us. It is how we manage this joy and suffering that is the freedom you seek.

One father greets another, his neighbor, and asked about his neighbor’s son. “How is he doing?”. The neighbor says he is doing Zen Meditation. The man says, “Well, that beats sitting around all day doing nothing.” LOL.

What to do? Try harder to do what you need to do?

I use to work at Walmart on the over night shift. Maintenance. When we had a white manager, I would be assigned the job of driving the cleaning machine around the floors. The machine would need to be filled with cleaning solution and water. It would clean the floor and squeeze the cleaning solution and then vacuum the fluids. When I had a Hispanic manager (I worked mostly with Hispanics workers), I would be assigned to clean the bathrooms. No one wanted to do the bathrooms. I didn’t like it but, it was the job and I needed the money for pay for the mortgage and food and etc. Kept my mouth shut and head down. Did the work. To me, it was about knowing what I had to do to keep my family happy (sheltered and fed). I did that job for about five years. Staying up after my shift to take my child to school and then waking up after a few hours to pick her up from school and then feeding her. Finally quit because I just couldn’t handle the effects the job was having on my health. Over worked and not enough sleep. I once fell asleep while I was driving to school to pick up my child.. It felt like a lifetime but was only about 5 to 10 seconds. Luckily I did not have an accident and everything was okay. So, I needed a change. Found a job at a supermarket. Lower pay but during the day. So, experience tough times? Yeah, I guess we all do. Hopefully things get better. Wish you well.

Hello Kris,

You are not broken and do not need to be fixed. But can always take time to improve yourself. Believe in yourself. If you do get angry then try to learn to let it go as soon as you start to feel it. Anger only seems to separate people. But, everyone gets angry sometimes. That is just being human. But also being human means to learn from our mistakes. No one is perfect unless you are Jesus. In over 2000 years there has only been one of Jesus. I guess there may have been more Buddha type people.

Looking for a boyfriend? Just be open hearted. You can either wait for an approach or do the approaching. Doing the approaching takes courage. One doesn’t ask for the moon. Only to start a conversation. The rest comes from being friendly and showing interest. Now, being pretty helps. But, The internet doesn’t show pretty faces on forums. So, no comment about that.

I don’t think you are helping anyone by chasing them away. Being afraid to get hurt by hurting others first is no way to live a happy life. take a chance. Someone once said it is better to live and loved then to never have loved at all. Or something to that effect? So, go live your life and be happy with yourself.

Note: I am no expert and I really shouldn’t give advice since I don’t know what I am talking about. However, I like to look at the brighter side of life and when it rains, to drink the water.

Yes, it would be a blessing to see another post from MURTAZA.

Robin,

Relationships are a messy area to understand. A man meets a woman who they believe they can build a life with. Then, after some time, the woman (80% of the time) initiate divorce. It isn’t a simple split. Too many feelings involved. Then the life the man imagined gets torn apart. Loses half of everything. Gets the kids take away from him. And then must also pay for this lost of the kids by paying for child support. Then don’t know about alimony. So, instead of a wonderful life together. It all becomes a shamble. This is the reality men face.

So, when a man meets another woman in the midst of such a divorce, would there be a fear of this happening again? Would any red flags arise to deter the new relationship from going smoothly? Would it remind him that he could face another turmoil with this other woman? I don’t know. But, once burnt, it might make one more cautious.

So, it was a serious relationship? But, he shut down? You sent apology texts? Sounds like you left the ball in his court. I have no advice. No words of wisdom. The only thing I know is that the more time spent apart makes for the heart to grow fonder of the time spent together. And after more time apart, things change and life goes on. Less and less time spent on thinking of the past. The heart rebuilds its shields. I hope you find the happiness you deserve. Remember that another person will not make you happy. You must first be happy with yourself. Then another person who comes into your life will compliment your life and not rule it. Good luck.

Tommmy168

Note: This is only my point of view. Please disregard if you don’t like the words here.

In conventional thought, there is suffering from pain and from the lack of human needs being met. These things do not go away. Suffering is real and tangible. However, in unconventional thought, suffering comes from the identification of the self. That pain is part of the human condition but suffering comes from wishing the world was different and pain could be avoided. Like lamenting the sorrows again and again. So, what James says may be true but it doesn’t come from a place of deep understanding. Lacking this, it can not reach deep into the hearts of those who read his words. Sorry, this is just my perspective.

Note: It is good to see more activity on the forum again. Like having good neighbors.