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Peter.
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June 6, 2026 at 11:30 am #458413
anitaParticipant* destroyed due to an accident involving 🍷 and my 🐕
June 12, 2026 at 3:41 pm #458558
AlessaParticipantHi Tommy
That’s so cool! Your daughter is studying to be a teacher. I’m sure she’s going to have a great time with it. Wow she’s completed community college and is moving onto the next college. Amazing! I love how much of a proud dad you are. 😄
A disagreement about who does more work? It sounds like you both do a lot and are very tired. I think that’s why such disagreements come about, at least in my experience. Aww I can tell how much you love your wife letting her “win” the disagreement. 🩵
You are right, relationships are not always smooth sailing. I learned to see disagreements as an imperfect attempt to connect. We can’t be perfect all the time. I hope things are going better now? 🩵
My son is starting to get a bit chattier. So that’s nice. 🙂 Fire trucks and tractors on the brain. 🚒 🚜 🧠 😂 He’s doing really well with counting and his abcs. Now it’s summer he’s not getting ill as much which is great. And your tip about washing hands as soon as you get in the house really did help.
We visited a nursery recently. His back up nursery start date is November. His other nursery delayed his start date until August. The back up nursery has a quiet room, so I’m happy for him to go to either. He’s pretty noise sensitive. I just didn’t want him to be tortured going to a nursery which is loud and doesn’t have any options for dealing with it. It would be a shame for him to have to wear ear defenders all the time.
Best wishes to you and your family, as always! 🩵
June 13, 2026 at 10:32 am #458571
Thomas168ParticipantHello Alessa,
Counting and ABCs? Wonderful!! My fear was when my daughter had to learn the multiplication table. I remember how tough it was for me. Well, my wife took on that task and she was proficient before I knew it. When my daughter was learning how to ride a bike, it was my wife who had the patience and perseverance to teach her to do it. Yeah, falling down and getting hurt a bit was part of the lesson. But, when my wife insisted she learn. It got done. Me, I always thought it might take longer or she might not learn at all. She still hasn’t learned to tie her shoes laces because I always bought the strap on shoes or ones with stretch straps or Velcro. I did not do her any good by doing that. Somethings just have to push thru. It can be a lot of work.
Anyway, happy to hear you got nursery lined up. It should give you a little time for whatever else you need to do during the day. I still remember my first day. 4 years old, I cried when my mom left me alone at school. But after the first day, it got a lot easier. Hope all goes well. Take good care of yourself and the family.
Tommy
July 8, 2026 at 9:13 am #459298
AlessaParticipantHi Tommy
Lovely to read from you as always! Sorry I’ve been too long replying. It’s been busy here, both in my life and on TB. I was trying to do a rotation of one message per person for a while. I recently gave up on that. So I’m not sure what the plan is now. It’s nice to see this place so active though. I agree, it’s like having good neighbours. 🩵
How are you and your family keeping? Any plans for summer? 🩵
It sounds like your daughter surpassed expectations in every way! I think you both did a great job raising her. What are some of your favourite memories of her growing up? 😄 🩵
I’m not worried about multiplication, I managed to teach my brother when I was a kid. More complex maths one day… now that is waaaaay over my head. 😂
I can understand the concern with bikes. I’ve had some rough falls with those myself. I have a condition that makes me clumsy with that kind of thing and I figured he might have it too. So, I started him early on balance bikes. The things they think of these days. He’s just got his first bike with training wheels recently. He can pedal backwards, but not forwards yet. No doubt he’ll start soon.
It’s crazy how fast they grow up! He can do more songs now. Wheels on the bus, five little monkeys, the clean up song, rain go away. 🩵
Oh and I’ve got something you might find funny. He said his first proper cuss. He says “Oh 💩” when he does a poo sometimes. 😂
July 11, 2026 at 11:44 am #459386
Thomas168ParticipantWent to a friends house to play Mah Jong. Afterwards, went out side to the car and saw someone had hit the car in the left rear quarter panel. I expected it was a hit and run. But, there was a police accident report on the windshield. If it were just up to me, I would have only liability which is cheaper than having collision on top of the liability. Anyway, collision paid for the damages. The other party took full blame of the accident (since the car was parked and no one was inside). The insurance adjuster was very nice and really understood what it would take to repair the car. So, I got a good estimate. I have decided to repair the damage myself. So, the money covers the 1 brake light assembly (damaged in accident) replacement along with 2 new headlight assembly (not damaged in accident) and the Bondo and primer and color paint and gloss coat. Just waiting for Amazon to deliver the parts and paints. I have pushed out the dent. Bondo on the surface and sanded it down. Will prime and wait for the paint to come. Won’t look like new but will look better. Ten year old car. Recently had a state inspection done on it. Needed new tires, front sway bar links and rear brake rotors and pads. (Bought online which was way cheaper than brick and mortar stores) All for less than the repair estimate. Which made me happy. Insurance paid me the estimate already. If I did not have collision then would have to wait for the other party’s insurance to pay for the damages. That is if they pay. I have seen my brother in law get into an accident and get no money for damages. Insurance just refused to pay. After that accident, my wife insisted we get collision insurance. Glad we did. We also pay for road side assistance which I have used about three times already for tows.
July 13, 2026 at 5:37 pm #459425
Thomas168ParticipantOnce a Zen master held up an exquisite tea cup. He showed a good amount of admiration for it. But, he said, “To me, this cup is already broken. I enjoy using it every day and washing it and looking at it. But when it will fall and shatter on the floor someday, I won’t get upset. I will just say, ‘Of course.’
“The understanding is that everything in life is temporary. People, feelings, and objects don’t last forever. Instead of fearing what you will lose someday or what you love will die, enjoy it fully right now. When it does goes away, you can really accept it peacefully.
July 15, 2026 at 5:34 am #459443
AlessaParticipantHi Tommy
Oh wow, a nice bit of good luck for you! That’s your karma for taking care of that tree. 😉 Thank goodness you’re a whizz kid at just about everything. 😄
I love the share about the cup. My only thought is that not everything is as easy to let go as a broken tea cup. 🩵
Oh random question for you. Any advice for installing a dishwasher? 🙏
July 16, 2026 at 8:17 pm #459481
Thomas168ParticipantYeah, being human, it isn’t easy to let go of people and things we love.
But, it is the attachment that causes our suffering. Still, it doesn’t mean we don’t mourn the one dear to us.Oh random question for you. Any advice for installing a dishwasher? 🙏
The answer to that is a full manual on how to install a dishwasher. But mainly to shut off the water and electric before install. Also to lay down cardboard to protect the floors. I don’t know how the UK sells their dishwashers. Here in the states, the unit is sold without an electric plug which is sold separately. Most stores require you to buy a new one (instead of reusing the old one) when you request the store to set up the dishwasher (for a fee). Dishwasher needs to be level for proper drainage. Hopefully the hoses have rubber seals which don’t require Teflon tape to prevent water leaks. Otherwise, use Teflon tape. Sorry, not much else. I find the tricky part is with pushing in the dishwasher into place as all the hoses and wiring is still in the way.
Do you have any experience with electrical or plumbing?
July 16, 2026 at 8:21 pm #459482
Thomas168ParticipantOh, forgot to mention that we require GFCI protection circuits on dishwashers and most major appliances that use water.
July 19, 2026 at 2:20 pm #459504
AlessaParticipantHi Tommy
Yes, for sure!
There’s an outlet, but we don’t have the plumbing set up for it.
I talked to a plumber and he suggested running the pipe under the floor across the room because my kitchen is an awkward shape. My friend was encouraging me to look on YouTube and do it myself.
I don’t know… I’ve never done plumbing before. I can do basic things like unclog stuff and turn off the water. Connect a washing machine etc. I can change a light switch. I can do a bit of woodwork, so it’s not the floor itself that’s an issue.
Thanks for the tips about installation! You’re a star! 🩵 🙏 ⭐️
How is fixing up the car going?
July 19, 2026 at 6:13 pm #459507
Thomas168ParticipantHello Alessa,
I thought you were replacing an old dishwasher. Not installing a new one. Depending on the model. Does it go into and under the countertop? Plumbing usually means setting up one cold water feed line as the dishwasher has a water heating unit inside it. Do you have copper lines? What size are they? 1/2 inch? I used a pipe cutter. Don’t forget to ream the cut opening for better water flow. Then I use Sharkbite connectors rather than soldering. Then I use Pex plastic water pipes as it is easy to lay out the water lines. Just have to make sure the Pex water lines are held in place. If you need a hard point for connection to washer then you can go back to copper. Or just stay with copper. Then the drain needs a connection. YouTube is fantastic for getting the general idea of what is needed or what to expect. I have put in a small room and full bathroom in the garage. (no permit, no license). Did electrical and plumbing myself. It has been working fine for the past 4 years. I did try to follow building code as much as I know about it. No problems so far.
If you can change a light switch then you can put in a GFCI outlet to protect against ground faults or short circuits. (Not sure about the UK) Toughest part may be to connect the water line to the washer. Do you have access to under the floor? Basement? Crawl space?
Oh, my car is just waiting for the spray paint and the light assembly. Should be done by the weekend.
I hope everything else is going well for you. Sounds like the kid is growing up fast (from the other posts). Take care.
July 21, 2026 at 12:33 pm #459546
AlessaParticipantHi Tommy
That’s okay. 😊
It would be a freestanding one. We haven’t even got it yet, I’m just planning everything. The house doesn’t have a crawl space or basement. The flooring would have to come up and the floorboards.
Thanks for your help, I really appreciate the tips! 🙏
Awesome! I’m glad the car is all sorted now. Your family are lucky to have you. 😄 🩵
Yeah everything is okay. Kids really do develop quickly at his age. Wishing you and your family all the best! 🩵
July 24, 2026 at 3:27 pm #459588
AlessaParticipantHey Everyone
A Daoist Story! 🩵
Confucius was travelling in Wei, when he saw Lin Lei in the fields, nearly a hundred years old, wearing a sheepskin cloak in the middle of spring, picking up leftover grain as he went, and singing as he worked.
Confucius halted and turned to look at him, and said to his disciples: “That old man is worth talking to. Someone go and ask him.”
Zigong went to the edge of the field, looked into his face and said: “Sir, do you feel no regret? Why do you sing as you gather the grain?”
Lin Lei did not stop, nor break his song. Zigong kept asking until he looked up and answered: “What regret should I feel?”
Zigong said: “When young, you did not exert yourself; when grown up, you did not compete with the times. You have no wife or child to care for in old age, and the time of your death is near. Where do you find happiness that you sing as you gather the grain?”
Lin Lei laughed and said: “The reasons for my happiness are shared by all men, but instead they worry over them. It was because I did not exert myself when young, nor compete with the times when grown up, that I have been able to live so long. Because I have no wife or child in my old age, and the time of my death is near, I am truly happy.”
Zigong asked: “Long life is what men desire, death is what men hate. Why should you be happy to die?”
Lin Lei said: “Death is to life as going away is to returning home. How do I know that dying here will not mean being born somewhere else? How do I know that life and death are not both mistakes? How do I know that my death now will not be better than my life before?”
Zigong listened and did not understand. He went back and told Confucius. Confucius said: “I knew he was worth talking to. He has grasped something, but he has not grasped it all.”
July 25, 2026 at 5:21 am #459599
Thomas168ParticipantThanks for the story. It is a real chin scratcher. Or a temple tapper with the forefinger. I think it is better to be happy with what one has rather than to wish for the greener side of the hill.
July 26, 2026 at 12:13 pm #459624
AlessaParticipantHi Tommy
Glad to hear you enjoyed it! I agree with you. 😊 🩵
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