Thomas, your insight into the second arrow is beautiful, but notice the subtle trap in your closing words: “Just got to let it go,” “I still work on myself,” and especially, “easier said than

I felt the sting of the third arrow hidden right there in those words…

The phrase “easier said than done” is a room that language builds to trap us. It implies there is a massive mountain of physical effort required to reach peace turn a concept of non-action into a grueling chore. But the work that requires no work is simply realization. The moment you realize your hand is on a hot stove, you don’t say, “Taking my hand off is easier said than done.” The realization is the opening of the hand.

When we say it is hard, notice our words harden into concepts. The ego happily hides inside that spiritual struggle, pretending it is going to fix a mind that isn’t actually broken. We don’t do letting go; we stop carrying the arrow.

There is a profound cosmic irony here: it is never the raw experience of life that traps us, but the language we use to describe it. Reality is fluid like water, but language freezes it into ice. I’ve found that avoiding this funny sad trap of language, that noticing words like ‘just’ and ‘easer said’ and holding them lightly… has helped the fire go out.

Master Shuzan held up his short bamboo staff before his students and said: “If you call this a short staff, you oppose its reality. If you do not call it a short staff, you ignore the fact. Now, what do you call it?”

A monk asked Master Nansen, “Is there a teaching that has not been given to the people?
“Nansen replied: “It is not mind, it is not Buddha, it is not a thing.”

Master Kyogen said: “Zen is like a man hanging from the branch of a tree by his teeth over a precipice. His hands cannot grasp a bough, his feet cannot reach a limb. Someone stands beneath the tree and asks him: ‘Why did Bodhidharma come from the West?’ (What is the ultimate truth of Zen?) If the man does not answer, he fails his duty. If he opens his mouth to answer, he falls to his death. What should he do?

The Wordless space before thoughts and labels are created… my own response to the koans – is to hold words lightly..

Our thoughts arrive wearing borrowed cloths, speaking in languages we never chose.
Long before we awaken, words are already dreaming us.

Once every word was alive, A spark. A gesture toward the unsayable.
But images harden and we begin mistaking the map for the mountain,
the symbol for the pulse beneath it.
We wonder inside these rooms of language believing they are the world…

Language rises as mist, before the mind wakes.
Words form and dissolve: shadows toughing light.
Thoughts builds its small rooms, naming each wall “me”
Yet in silence between breaths, seer is seeing…
Concepts loosen, Transparency returns.
Language, released from definition, become a gesture…
A leaf on a river, moving always, needing no name.

And the arrows, fall to the ground, in silence…

Hi Tommy

Memories are how our brains work. Things come up. Just acknowledging that it’s a normal part of how our bodies work helped me a lot. I used to feel like it was something to get over. Luck of the draw though isn’t it? Some memories are worse than others.

That being said, memories can become less painful over time. There are ways to train this.

This summer I took my son to the beach. It was the same beach where I was assaulted. It’s nice to reclaim that place. I have a lot of happy memories on that beach too from before then. Going to continue creating new happy memories there. I remember when I had an anxiety attack driving near there and I couldn’t even walk in that direction.

Emotional regulation skills take time to develop. Nothing wrong with practicing more. That’s what life is all about, constantly learning. 🩵

We’re all just animals if you ask me, in a world that is increasingly over complicated. Thank god for science and Buddhism. Everyone working towards helping people to heal. 🙏

Personally, I think kindness is the answer. The part of you that looks after others is to look after ourselves too. 🩵

Love that Thomas – A time for all things, there is something about music to break open a heart.

I often wonder how the words – the world is complicated – have shaped my own experience. I suspect the world has always been the world and that my thoughts create the complications. I watch as both thoughts float away… it feels the kindest of things… Thanks Alessa

Hi Tommy

Enjoy your love songs and memories! 🩵

This one is my favourite.

Wanting 曲婉婷 – 我的歌声里 (You Exist In My Song)

It’s kind of you to ask. I’m okay. How are you doing? Are you getting used to managing the health issues yet? Wishing you and your family all the best! 🙏 🩵

Hi Alessa.

A piano-playing octopus makes me smile is definitely a miracle! The world indeed is a miracle!

Your reply actually helped me realize something about my own relationship with the word ‘complicated’. For me, using the word usually ended up creating the very tension it implies and ‘made it so’. I’ve realized it’s a word that no longer serves me well. On a personal inner level, when I let such words go, the world stops being complicated and just is. In the word place wonder and compassion arise, but not as words… but how does one express that?

I didn’t intend my original comment negatively at all, it’s fascinating how text lands. Out of curiosity, what was it in my words that gave you a negative vibe?

Hi Tommy

Such a beautiful story you and your wife have! Thank you for sharing. 🙏

Thanks so much for the song recommendations! I love them. I think there’s something to be said for songs in a different language. Just feeling the melodies. I used to watch a lot of anime, I think that’s what got me into it. 🩵

I’ve always wanted to learn Mandarin. I started with my son when he was born, but it started interfering with his English. We’ll try again when he’s a bit older. 😊

That right here waiting for you song was really good as well. Now that I think about it, there aren’t that many songs for long distance relationships.

In the spirit of Buddhism, I love the music by this nun – y outube.com/watch?v=xVueLvn0WYE&pp=ygUSYW5pIGNob3lpbmcgZHJvbG1h&ra=m