- This topic has 195 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 1 week ago by
anita.
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May 5, 2026 at 9:03 am #457648
anitaParticipantHi Tom 🙂
You are very welcome 🌿. Yes, I can see that: not fitting in with your current work environment doesn’t have to be a negative. I like that!
Thank you for the note and looking forward to you updating me whenever it’s convenient for you.
🤍 Anita
June 4, 2026 at 1:33 pm #458376
TomParticipantHi Anita,
Hope all is well.
I have been busy with work and travelling a lot but home now for a few days.
My partner is pregnant which we are happy about but also shocked, not sure it’s fully sunk in yet as very early stages but I am nervous and excited at the same time.
I’m not sure if I feel more pressure to make the job situation work now but will continue to do my best and do what I can.
Hope you are well.
June 4, 2026 at 2:49 pm #458377anitaParticipantDear Tom:
It’s so good to hear from you and congratulations to you and your partner on the pregnancy 🤍
🌿✨. I can imagine how it feels both exciting and unreal at this early stage, and how natural it is for nerves to show up alongside the happiness. Big changes often bring both.It also makes sense that the job situation feels heavier now. Pressure tends to grow when responsibilities grow, but you’ve always shown that you do your best with what’s in front of you, step by step. That’s all anyone can do.
I’m well, thank you for asking. Actually, it made my day to read the news from you, brings the first smile of the day to my face 🙂
Anita
June 4, 2026 at 5:36 pm #458382anitaParticipantHey Tom:
It just so happens that Roberta, in her thread “Inspirational videos & books” posted less than 5 hours after you did a YouTube video link called “Right livelihood: work as love with Mei Elliot” and I wonder if it may be of some help to you.
I am reading: “The core of Mei Elliott’s teaching is that Right Livelihood is not just about what job you have — it’s about the quality of heart you bring to whatever work you do. She reframes work as a daily opportunity to practice love, presence, and ethical care.
Instead of seeing work as a source of pressure, self‑worth, or anxiety, she invites people to relate to work as a form of service: a way to reduce suffering, increase connection, and act from compassion. She emphasizes that Right Livelihood is grounded in the Buddha’s ethics — non‑harm, honesty, and integrity — but also in tenderness: the intention to meet each task with awareness rather than self‑judgment.
She speaks about how work becomes distorted when driven by fear, perfectionism, or the need to prove oneself, and how it becomes liberating when approached with kindness toward oneself and others. The talk encourages listeners to soften around the idea of “success,” to release the pressure of productivity, and to let work be an expression of love rather than a measure of personal value.”
I know about a few of the significant negatives of your job and that you’ve been looking for a better one for a long time. And I am thinking that- for as long as you are doing the job you do- maybe some change in attitude, as is described in this video, will help…?
Anita
July 18, 2026 at 2:17 pm #459493TomParticipantHi Anita,
Hope all is well and sorry for the silence this last month or so.
Unfortunately there were some complications with my partners pregnancy and she had a miscarriage. The operation was last week so we have been trying to be postive about the future when it happens again.
Work is still a battle but we have a small euro trip planned in 3 weeks which will help as a rest.
Tom
July 18, 2026 at 5:20 pm #459497
Thomas168ParticipantHello Tom,
So sorry to hear about the miscarriage. It happened to me and my wife. Totally messed us up. But, we tried again and finally had our daughter. I hope everything goes better the next time you try. Rough times Good luck.
July 18, 2026 at 9:21 pm #459498anitaParticipantHi Tom:
I am sorry to read about the miscarriage.
No worries about the silence here. Anytime you post here is appreciated 🙏
I hope the small Euro trip gives you and your partner some joy.
I wish the 3 weeks leading to the trip were less of a battle.
🌿 Anita
July 19, 2026 at 12:54 am #459501
RobertaParticipantHi Tom
I am sorry for you & your wifes loss. I have been there too & I hope that you are both allowing yourself to grieve fully. I unfortunately did not conceive afterwards & even over the years I think oh they would be 5, 19 or fifteen years old.
I hope that you both enjoy your mini trip next month
RobertaJuly 19, 2026 at 11:57 am #459503anitaParticipantI wanted to add, Tom, that I admire your resilience, how you withstand difficult times at work and at home and courageously, you are moving on toward easoer, better times 👏🌿
Anita
August 17, 2026 at 1:12 pm #460425TomParticipantThanks for the kind words Anita, needed to see it today.
Had a good 2 weeks off work which were enforced and had a road trip around france with Hollie and the dog. Back to it today and continue to try and be postive while looking for next move.
hope all is well at your end.
August 17, 2026 at 2:35 pm #460433anitaParticipantSo good to read from you, Tom! I’m glad that the enforced time off with your loved ones (Hollie and the 🐶) was good. I am fine, thank you, having 2 🐶🐶 with me right now, Bogart and Kurby.
Coming to think of it, I felt a bit negative earlier, before reading your post, and you saying that you continue to try and be positive- reminded me that I can do the same and.. my mood improved, thank you 🙏
🌿 Anita
August 19, 2026 at 8:53 am #460485
LuParticipantTom, the first day back after two weeks that good is its own small shock, the inbox suddenly very loud. Enforced rest has a strange double weight too, the time off was genuinely lovely and the reason behind it still sits under everything. The good weeks count though, they refill the tank you will need for the search ahead. And you frame it as a next move rather than a rescue, that is not small, it reads like someone who still knows he has choices. Hollie and the dog sound like excellent company for the bumpy parts.
October 30, 2026 at 6:42 pm #461940anitaParticipantHow are you, Tom.. and Hollie and the dog 🙂??
November 1, 2026 at 4:58 am #461955TomParticipantFunny timing Anita, I was just thinking I hadn’t logged in for a while so came on the site.
We are well thanks, busy at work and hoping to carry on until Jan when i may get a bonus and then go from there. I feel like next year is a big year, the UK is becomming more expensive so have to have a long think of where we want to be etc. Continue to save as much as we can in the interim.
Hollie is trying to look into fertility etc so that is continuing in the background without the desired outcome yet.
I hope you are well and all ok.
Tom
November 1, 2026 at 10:11 am #461960anitaParticipantGood Sunday morning/ evening, Tom 🙂
I think that you and Hollie are capable of making the best decisions under challenging circumstances, like rising cost of living.
* I wonder if fertility treatments are covered or are out of pocket expense in the UK 🤔 Everything seems to be out of pocket here (if partly covered, the co-payment is still substantial).
Making the best decisions- although imperfectly, one day at a time, practicing the serenity to accept what the two of you cannot change, and the courage to change what you can change.. (The Serenity Prayer) seems healthy, doesn’t it?
These days, I’ve been troubled by the shortened days, it being dark by 6:30 pm, and having hours-long stretch of nothing to do. So, I just initiated a potential social get-together this late afternoon, inspired by my mention of The Serenity Prayer right above, so, thank you, Tom 🙂
Anita
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