Dear Anita

I understand why you feel the way you feel and respect it. 🤍

I’m just a different person and see things differently. I’ve been on a quest to forgive my mother for 10 years. Now, I’m starting to think that I forgave her when I said goodbye. But forgiving someone doesn’t stop memories from hurting. Maybe the underlying goal was to stop hurting. That isn’t how life works though.

How I feel is not a commentary on your experience though. Our journeys are very personal. Your thoughts and feelings are valid. 🤍

You have been through a lot and you deserve to handle things in a way that makes you comfortable. 🤍

If I can forgive my mother and I can forgive my rapist, I think I need to work on being a lot kinder to myself because I’m not being fair to myself.

Dear Anita

Thank you! 🙏 That is honestly fair! 🤍

I think the reason I had difficulty with anger is because my mother didn’t feel comfortable letting us express or process anger. She would get violent if we did. I learned to express sadness instead and keep anger locked deep inside. I became uncomfortable with expressing it.

Empathy is part of my experience because I’m a parent. Sometimes there are difficult moments that make me understand more about her challenges as a parent.

I am sure we will both do wonderfully on our respective journeys. I can wait to see how things evolve. 😊 🤍

Hi Tee

Sorry I hope I didn’t bother you by sending the @. I can not do it in the future if you prefer. I just saw that SereneWolf’s message was sitting for a while and know that you are not always online here. I thought it would be nice for you to see her message because it was a celebration. 🩵

Sorry it took me a while to write back too. It’s been a bit busy and I think our discussions are a bit close to home for me. Not in a bad way, I’m just not always in the headspace for soul searching these days. I do still really value your messages and our conversations though. Moving our little chat here because I don’t want to take over SereneWolf’s thread. You guys have a special connection. 🩵

I agree, but the only difficulty might be when different people have vastly different needs. In that situation someone always loses.

That’s fair, I was just using temper as an example. 😊

For sure, yeah. I think it can be difficult for people who are involved in situations like that with people. It’s definitely a choice, to carry the weight of these things. Life is complicated. It’s really tricky when trauma compounds as well. 🩵

Always thinking of you Tee! I’m sorry to hear that health issues are a perpetual issue. You’re a strong woman. Wishing you all the best. 🙏

Hi Tee

Thanks always happy to hear from you too! 🩵 I really appreciate your understanding. 🙏 Exactly. Often, I do take my time and sit with important things too. 🩵

I think you’re handling your health issues with a lot of grace and bravery. Praying for more “good days” for you. 🙏 🩵

The latest he will start is November. I’m just trying to get him ready for then because he’s a bit of a free spirit. With a class of 50, he’s going to have to be able to follow some instructions or he’ll drive hit teachers batty.

It’s been hard for me to um tell him what to do sometimes with my PTSD. Toddlers get hysterical about little things and it can make me feel bad. It brings back a lot of stuff from when I was a kid. I would never want to make him feel a fraction of what I felt.

Just have to try my best because he’s going to be in for a shock when he realises that there are a lot of rules otherwise.