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Tom

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 64 total)
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  • in reply to: Struggling to settle in new role #439964
    Tom
    Participant

    Thank you Anita,

    Yes, it continues to be challenging but we just try and stay calm and do what we can. Ultimately what I am realizing is that it’s just a job and it does not define me.

    in reply to: Struggling to settle in new role #439914
    Tom
    Participant

    Thank you Anita, yesterday was a challenging day at work with some issues coming up which were problematic and stressful. Some blame may come to me for them but it’s also the problem I have found since I started this role without any proper onboarding or process in place.

    A few months ago I think I would have struggled to deal with yesterday but I was able to just stay calm and do what I think I was best. I finished work and got home to see my partner and niece for a few hours and today feel better about things as I am doing my best and that is all I can do. Will keep writing here as helps to express it.

     

     

    in reply to: Struggling to settle in new role #439883
    Tom
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Still maintaining my gratitude and use of the calm app daily and I do believe it’s helping me massively.

    Will have some time off from Christmas Eve until Jan 2nd so that is the end goal in the back of my mind for now and then I will reset.

     

     

    in reply to: Struggling to settle in new role #439540
    Tom
    Participant

    Thanks Anita,

    Yes, balance is key and I will do my best to maintain that.

    I will keep up with the gratitude and continue to keep you posted on things.

    Thanks

    in reply to: Struggling to settle in new role #439468
    Tom
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Thanks for checking in.

    I am feeling better about things. While I still feel I need to settle more at work and am not enjoying it as such I have found a way to navigate it better through gratitude. I have been doing a gratitude journal every morning and night and these check-ins have helped with my perspective on everything.

    Long term, I still need to find a solution for the work situation but this has definitely helped me focus on what I have and how lucky I am and realize that this is just a job and does not define me.

    in reply to: Struggling to settle in new role #439012
    Tom
    Participant

    Still in the role and trying my best.

    Left in tears yesterday though and when I got home to my partner. Mainly due to feeling like not fitting in there and been given tasks without enough context and background.

    I am reading a lot of books such as Manifest and trying to think of a solid exit plan but yesterday for some reason it was just too much. Just writing it down to vent more than anything. Thanks

    in reply to: Struggling to settle in new role #437980
    Tom
    Participant

    My partner is supportive, we both have a similar outlook and want to enjoy life without working until we are 85.

    I believe she would support me in finding something else regardless of whether it was lower/high paid. My parents don’t have any real expectation on my career and it’s not something they get involved in.

    in reply to: Struggling to settle in new role #437141
    Tom
    Participant

    No probs Anita,

     

    I appreciate you taking the time to reply always.

     

    My parents not divorced, but live separately 50% of the time, this has only happened in the last 5-10 years since I’m an adult.

     

    My childhood was good, I had a good bunch of friends and did ok at school/uni.

     

    At home we were ok. My dad worked in London and had a stressful job. He and my Mum had a strained relationship and would often fight. As a child, I hated conflict and would often be worried of what/when the next fight would be. They would be sometimes become very heated, sometimes violent. I would try and appease the situation if I could. They had a lot of deeper issues, including a daughter who was given up for adoption that is never spoke about and I’ve never met.

     

    I’ve always been naturally a quite quiet/shy person until I get to know someone and come out of my shell.

     

    My situation is now that I’m engaged and very happy at home with my partner and dog.

     

    We have a good life. As you know, I changed job a few months back and it’s not going well as I hoped. They haven’t told me it’s not going well but I don’t feel like I’m doing well. I am not enjoying it and have never been someone who changes job lots.

     

    I feel stuck as I get paid well it’s not hard to find a new job but I also feel unfulfilled and don’t want to be like this.

    in reply to: Struggling to settle in new role #437130
    Tom
    Participant

    I didn’t like arguments etc which did make me anxious as to when the next one would be.

    I’m sure not how they would react to me saying I can’t express my fears but they must be aware that we don’t speak on a deep level.

    in reply to: Struggling to settle in new role #437110
    Tom
    Participant

    Hello Anita, my parents were not disapproving. My mum and dad had a troubled relationship but never separated (officially).

    I have never fully been able to express my fears and concerns with them. Only with my partner.

    in reply to: Struggling to settle in new role #437085
    Tom
    Participant

    Hi Anita, yes i think i will but the market is tough at the moment so it’s not as straightforward as that.

    I will continue to try and manage my anxiety.

    in reply to: Struggling to settle in new role #437076
    Tom
    Participant

    More time has passed and I am still not enjoying it and counting down until the weekend and them dreading to go back come Sunday evening.

    Will try and remain positive and stick it out and give it more time

    in reply to: Struggling to settle in new role #433108
    Tom
    Participant

    Thanks Anita, much appreicated as always.

    I walk often and keep fit which helps my anxiety but any other tips/methods for this?

    in reply to: New Role offer #298763
    Tom
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Yes, that’s what I mean.

    It probably wasn’t his intention and is just how it’s played out.

     

     

    in reply to: New Role offer #298729
    Tom
    Participant

    Hi both,

    I have accepted the new role and am looking forward to the move. I am currently working my notice in my current position.

    One thing that has happened that has made me feel indifferent is that one of my friends/colleagues has been offered the role I am vacating. A few weeks/months earlier he was encouraging me to take the leap with this new role/challenge.

    It doesn’t bother me as I know I have made the decision that is best for me as I was unhappy etc as stated above. Just wanted to get this down off my chest.

     

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 64 total)