fbpx
Menu

Joe

Forum Replies Created

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #214235
    Joe
    Participant

    Well,  i talked to her last night.  I told her that I’m unsure about this and don’t want to make this decision because of feeling guilty or because it’s what she wants and that if i’m not ready that it could possible make things bad.  I really hurt her.  She is a mess now.  I asked her to give me some time to really think this through and see what truly in my heart.  That didn’t go very well either.  I feel like a total asshole now.  I’m trying to be strong and not let her influence what i’m feeling to make sure i do this correctly.

    I am a people pleaser. This is really hard to stand my ground and not just cave in.  I feel like things would be great if she did move in, however i really don’t know if i’m ready to be a full time dad to two more children.  I get my two kids every other week, so i have two weeks a month to myself.  If she does move in then that is gone, in fact I  will be watching her kids when she has to work nights or weekends.  Which i thought i was good with, but it is a huge responsibility.  I’m just  not sure i am ready for that.

    Mean while, she is suffering.  I’ve hurt her so bad with this it hurts me too.  We are going camping together this weekend and i’m afraid that this is going to be a tough trip.  She is going to be a mess and we won’t be able to enjoy this weekend like we should.

    Relationships shouldn’t be this stressful and hard should they.  There should never be doubt or question should there?  Or am i just blinded by my previous love, where i never had any doubt or question.  Until i got burned of coarse.  No i always have that.

    #214085
    Joe
    Participant

    I never really thought about it like that.  I will talk to her tonight.  thanks for your advice.  This is going to be hard on her.

    #214023
    Joe
    Participant

    No, my ex-girlfriends kids were grown up.

    it is anything.  She would do anything for me.  She wants to help me with my house, my kids, my financial situation, intimacy, absolutely anything. She just wants to make me happy.  She is willing to give and do for me what i’ve been wanting for a long time.  Complete devotion and love.  I just don’t know what’s keeping me from going all in.  Might be the “fear and guilt” thing.  Yes i would be a full time dad.

    in fact she worked swing/graveyard shifts friday and saturday this last weekend so i watched her kiddos for her.  I found myself getting tense.  They are wonderful kids, but i was getting…  can’t think of the right word…   Not resentful, but something like that. Like, this is the next few years.   dealing with these kids.  I feel awful thinking or saying that.

    #213659
    Joe
    Participant

    “what is that feeling that you had with an old girlfriend, the feeling you believe she has for you?”

    The feeling of head over heels true love.  A love that you would do any thing for without thought or hesitation.

    “How much of the fact that she has young children without a father in their lives play into her feeling for you?”

    That is a big thing for her, the fact that i am there and include her children in my life.  I take after them as if they were mine.

    She has expressed all she want is to be with me and take care of me.  She would do anything for me.

    I do have love for her, but not like that.  I know how she feels, i’ve felt that with someone else, just not with her.  I wish i did.  I don’t know if it’s something that will come in time or not.  With my old girlfriend, i felt that right away and new i was really in love with her.

    my problem is that i’m not sure if i can love her the way that i should?  or if i will over time.  I don’t want to keep this up, just because it’s the right thing to do, or settle I guess.  Kind of harsh sounding, but that’s my issue…and i don’t want to hurt her or her kids.  It breaks my heart knowing that i could do that.  It would devastate her if i broke it off.

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)