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anon2

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  • September 20, 2013 at 5:26 pm #42543
    anon2
    Participant

    I want to believe that’s true Rose…. my sister has told me something similar. Have your ‘greatest lessons’ also been the cruellest? I feel like my dream appeared before me and then was snatched away before I could grab it!

    September 20, 2013 at 2:06 pm #42523
    anon2
    Participant

    Thank you Bodhisatva, I take huge comfort in your words.

    Last night I forgave my friend and I learnt a deeper lesson about myself. I have spent too long trying to please others and by doing so on this occasion it came at great personal cost. If it hadn’t have been him, it could easily have been someone else and the lesson may have been even more painful!

    I recently read Carlos Castaneda’s third book of his experiences with Don Juan, “Journey to Ixtlan”. I realise that my friend represented another phantom attempting to lead me off my true path. The journey continues and I work hard through meditation, study, healthy distraction and detachment to regain my confidence, self-esteem and happiness. I am not there yet but I feel at peace now I have moved beyond anger, the mental bargaining has lessened, so I know I am moving closer to acceptance.

    Thanks again for your inspiring sentiments!

    September 13, 2013 at 3:27 pm #42204
    anon2
    Participant

    Thank you Ke. The emotional beating I have given myself over the last few months makes me pretty sure that I will never stray from my values again. I also see how this incident was just one part of a chain of events which I could have brought under control if I had better awareness at the time. I cannot blame my friend for all that followed, and my inability to rediscover the right path.

    Your message has helped me move beyond blame, I occasionally bargain with myself (if onlys….) but I try to put a stop to these self-indulgent fantasies when I catch myself thinking them. The depression is with me from the moment I wake up but hopefully acceptance isn’t too far away!

    Namaste!

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