Thank u eliana,anita and worrier lady for ur comments, the thing is in may 2016 after completing my class 10 examinations we shifted here and then i lost my contacts with most of the friends and even they didnt cared to call or anything, then i started with my class 11 studies life was boring but wasnt depressing, i wasnt really feeling bad at that time cause i loved maths,physics they kept me busy i didnt knew a disaster is coming, in july 2016 a girl came to stay with us(thats a different story why she came) she stayed with us initially i kept distance and didnt thinked too much bout her but then we started spending time together at home,we enjoyed our time whenever we were together, we used to tease each other and TO BE HONEST I HAVENT ENJOYED THIS MUCH WITH ANYONE IN MY WHOLE LIFE didnt care about tommorow i just lived freely enjoyed, i was stress free and the most important thing I WAS HAPPYY my studies on top, now that was situation till 10 november 2016 then that special girl was going on 20 NOVEMBER 2016 and then i thought okay she was a friend now going thats okk normal but inside it wasnt normal, she left without saying goodbye or anything i wanted to hug her last day and i teased her and said goodbye but she didnt replied. That i had 2 tests but i didnt wanted to give them cause she was going so i thought i will say her goodbye but my father forced me and went and she didnt even said goodbye. i was feeling depressed only thinking bout her and nothing else from that day, her separation from me was very painful and i know that its definitely less painful than losing ur father(eliana) but am emotional fool and weak, i didnt knew what was that why i was feeling lonely and depressed from inside i missed her immensely i used to cry a lot in bathroom then, i thought these feelings will fade away but it was january 2017 and i was on my lowest point in my life truely worst phase,lonelyness,no friends around,nothing then i decided to call her u know cant meet her cause she is 1500km away from me finally called her by taking number from my mums phone and she told herself that she missed me a lot then i told i felt the same and from then we talked regularly and i liked her(loved her) and made a bit kinda comeback in life and on 26th may 2017 i met her cause she lives in our native place that too for just 14hours from 20:00 to 10:00 and we werent able to talk to see spend time cause everyone were around came back again sms etc,now i didnt told my parents bout it that i talked with her and someday in august my mum found bout it and guess what she scolded me so much even beat me and took my phone and didnt asked even once under what condition i called her and why i expected this atleast this from my father but even he didnt u see MY GOOD PARENTS WHOM I LOVED EVERY SECOND EVERYTIME AND HAD DONE SO MANY THINGS THEY DIDNT HELPED ME EITHER, that day i thought if its not parents then who on this planet shall i tell, but soon i got mobile and i get taunts from my mother and trust me IT HURTS, i still called her cause knew we cant stay away and again we texted etc she was an INDIAN VILLAGE GIRL and u know they dont get to study early marriage etc but she got to study,but told if her parents come to know everything will end her life her dreams early marriage etc she is 2years older then me and even i thought we had no future and it was risky cause i didnt want her to loose her dreams and that 1500km hurts a lot and can never be overcomed cause even if i visit my village she still stays 30-40km away and have no excuse to meet her and we no more talk and its gonna be 2018 almost 2years and still i miss her and have became aimless and no goals just going on and nothing to laugh and of late i have stopped talking to my parents(mum) father talks bout studies but still am empty,lonely living in past and have tried everything.