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maggie mac
ParticipantI think you just haven’t met “that” person yet.
My dad was 38 when he met my mom. She was younger than he and they had a fairy tale romance and marriage that the romance never left. There were genuine love and respect.
I think you just aren’t “settling” just because you think you are supposed to. You know yourself well enough that you have no illusions about someone else saving you so you can see things more clearly.-
This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by
maggie mac.
maggie mac
ParticipantAnita,
About the filing for divorce, he is going slowly. He says he needs to file or get it started quite a few times but he never does. You are correct about the statements about how I just don’t have enough time with him. He is coming back here more than he used to, but I need more continuity and for us to be more a daily part of one another’s life. I believe he wants that too.
He is very good to me and I can tell he cares deeply for me. I just don’t like the long distance relationship much longer. I know we wouldn’t break apart for anything, though. I think that is why I get so frustrated. I know I have to just try to be happy the way it is. Most of the time I am, but every now and then I get upset. I guess there aren’t any real answers but it has helped to talk about it.
maggie mac
ParticipantYes, there is someone I know from school that is getting a divorce and I have liked him a long time. He helped me to get my yard landscaped. He seemed to like me too. I hope I get to know him better. Thanks for the invitation. You have been a big help.
maggie mac
ParticipantAnita,
I do want to find a person to be in a close relationship with. I am not looking forward to anything else like this, though! I feel like I would like to be close to someone I already know in some way. I really don’t think I could trust anyone that I just met. Not sure why but it’s how I feel.maggie mac
ParticipantWOW, Anita! Great analysis of these conversations. And of course it is true for why else would anyone do all of this? The next time he called me to tell me he couldn’t wait to see me I told him I couldn’t see him anymore. I just used the excuse that I just wasn’t ready as I didn’t want to get into the whole thing with his bizarre behavior.
He seemed disappointed and told me that if I ever changed my mind to let him know.
Nan, you are right about going with my gut and I am glad I did. Thanks to both of you for your attention and interest in my topic. It really helped!! I loved the analysis and the way you were able to put all that together, Anita. It’s a gift.maggie mac
ParticipantAnita,
Thank you for your wise observation. It is how I am thinking and have been from the start but just needed clarification. I think what made it so unbelievable that he would be running lines on me is that he is old enough to know better! Again, I appreciate your time.maggie mac
ParticipantLove is a rose…. better not pick it. It only grows if it’s on the vine. Handful of thorns and you know you’ve missed it, you lose your love when you say the word “MINE”.
This line from the song just about sums it up. In relationships we usually get what we give out.
Unless one or both are flawed deeply and cannot love and then it is very hard to make anything workout.Start by loving yourself and then give this love to your beloved. Act in their best interest.
Love has to be based on something higher than ourselves. My higher power is God and He will direct my relationships in the best way if I let Him.
“Letting Him”, means to give up control. No manipulation. Some of us don’t even know we are controlling and manipulative we have been that way for so long and from our core.When a relationship starts we are in love and see through the glasses of love. Everything is perfectly lovely.
When the love drugs wear off and we are left with a human being who isn’t really perfect after all that is when we must hold our tongue and trust God to show us ways to allow great communication to iron things out.I have had questions in my relationship and waited and the answer would come without me having to demand or even ask.
It is important for me to keep the purity of love that started in the beginning. The loving feelings, the respect, the awe we feel for our loved one.
I don’t want to have a knock down drag out or say ugly things I can never take back because my first marriage was like that and I never was actually able to forget the things he said to me and I never felt loved or cherished because of that.
So, treat them like the diamond they are. And if they aren’t a diamond then maybe your love and respect will turn them into one. If not then it is best to find the ONE who you so desire that all others are second choice.
August 15, 2015 at 2:56 am in reply to: Would you consider that a toxic relationship or I am just overreacting? #81855maggie mac
ParticipantHe sounds very manipulative and wants things on his terms. He isn’t happy if you aren’t “performing” at his specification.
This one probably won’t be happy anywhere because he isn’t a happy person.February 8, 2015 at 5:06 pm in reply to: Relationship hell: betrayal, lies…was I just a sex object? #72509maggie mac
ParticipantNot only do his actions prove there is NO love for you, he is sick sick sick!
I hope you will get away from him as soon as possible. People who love do not treat others in that manner.1 Corinthians 13
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails.
Love does not dishonor others or is selfseeking or easily angered… doesn’t keep a list of wrongs… ALWAYS PROTECTS
Do you feel protected?
Get out while you can. His behavior will likely escalate into violence. -
This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by
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