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M T

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  • in reply to: Leave him alone or be vulnerable and risk? #49932
    M T
    Participant

    Hi Nicola,

    Thank you for your kind words… I was walking down the sidewalk today and glimpsed a part of me that was happy and fulfilled, exactly how I was feeling before he entered my life. I know what you mean, it’s like instant relief! You know that deep down, everything will be okay even when you thought it would never be the same.

    A friend observed today that I tend to be very hard on myself and I think most of my frustration was because I wanted to be ‘better’ quickly and when the hurt, anger, shame did not dissipate, I felt even angrier and tried to push them away, which never works. I know what you mean when you say the word ‘vulnerable’; being open and gentle with yourself is really hard…

    Thank you for sharing your experience with me. We will all be okay in the end. It will pass as we pull through. We are much stronger than we realize and I believe in you as you believe in me.

    Sending you love and light, MT

    in reply to: Leave him alone or be vulnerable and risk? #49931
    M T
    Participant

    Hi Bri,

    GOOD FOR YOU! I am happy for your happiness… Yes, after taking that time out for yourself, there is great clarity in stillness and you come upon many revelations after self-reflection and meditation.

    I had the same thing! I wanted to do something, anything. But actually, not doing anything is also considered an action in itself! So that shift in looking at things helped alot.

    Thank you for your kinds words… And you are absolutely right, never settle for good enough.

    Sending you love and light, MT

    in reply to: Leave him alone or be vulnerable and risk? #49930
    M T
    Participant

    Hi Matt,

    Thank you for your kind words and advice… After the break up, I set out to figure out what ‘loving yourself’ really means because everyone espouses how important it is but do not really offer specific ways to practice self-love.

    Could you elaborate on how or what you do when you self-nurture? My email is bumsy_tay92@hotmail.com and I would appreciate hearing more on what you have to say!

    Sending love and light, MT

    in reply to: Leave him alone or be vulnerable and risk? #49929
    M T
    Participant

    Thank you for your advice… After you posted your reply, a friend linked me to the wiki page on Fight or Flight response and I realized that I had all the physiological symptoms of a person experiencing intense stress during the relationship…

    I was feeling so lost because I kept looking inwards and sensing ’emptyness’. Now, I realize that my body had been telling me to GET OUT of the relationship ever since he started acting weird. Now I can trust in myself.

    Your words remind me to persevere and get my Self Esteem back! No man has the right to ever take it away, only I can let it be taken away. Thank you for your empowering words. 🙂

    It is also comforting to know that I am not the only one who has ever experienced self-doubt.

    Sending you love and light, MT

    in reply to: thoughts on getting back the love of my life #46733
    M T
    Participant

    I think you need to have your own space and tell him that you need to take some time for yourself to meditate and if he gets angry or refuses then tell him to respect your decision. If he doesn’t, he does not love you.

    Once you have that alone time, no matter how much you feel like contacting him, DO NOT. Meditate on how you feel about him and regard him as a human being, striving to find his own happiness in this world too. Ask yourself what you feel like doing and consider if your decision will bring you ‘happiness’ or ‘pleasure’? Is your decision ‘skillful’ or ‘unskillful’? (Google skillful action and unskillful action related to buddhism)

    Consider who makes you happier, your boyfriend or NY guy? If you made a decision to stick with your boyfriend, then let go of the NY guy even though you might hurt his feelings even more. If you decide you love the NY guy more and that he will make your life happier (not pleasure, happiness), then stick to it and do not harbor regret because you will end up suffering and making the NY guy suffer also.

    Meditate and withdraw into yourself, considering every single factor in the situation and broaden your understanding of what each person is experiencing, including your own feelings. Ask yourself what course of action will be the best for yourself and for that person.

    I hope this helps.

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)