Oh honey, I had to register just to respond to your question:  “Is it normal to break down every month or so?”  Have you considered whether you are a PMS sufferer?  In my own life, I thought there was something seriously “wrong” with me until I was nearly 30.   Two weeks a month, I was happy and confident and loved life, then by the day, my confidence, energy and zeal would slip.   I would become more emotionally sensitive or depressive until the day or two prior to menstruation, I was a full blown emotional mess.  My question would have been, “Is it normal to have suicidal thoughts two days a month?”

All those years (15 to nearly 30) I wondered what was “wrong” with me and suffered overall loss of confidence as a result.  Once I had the realization it seemed to be cyclical, I started track my emotional state daily and after a couple months, realized it for exactly what it was.  My emotional state was as regular as clockwork, PMS.  I had to laugh.  I wasn’t “crazy” after all, just flush with hormones that affected my mental wellness.  I suppose one can see their OBGYN and attempt to treat it with various hormone cocktails.  At the time, many years ago now, I simply gave myself extra care in the down part of the cycle, bit my tongue more, made an effort to be nicer to my partner and those around me, including co-workers, made it a point not to take anything personally (even if I “felt” it was personal), and refrained from making major decisions unit “it” was over and I was back to what I consider “normal.”  Just the realization of what ailed me, was a tremendous relief.

As for the rest of your concerns, I have seen a counselor three times in my life, once in my 20s for several months, and the other two times for only a few sessions to help with ongoing family issues.   At all times, I found therapy to be extremely valuable and worthwhile.  You are clear what your concerns are and the issues.  In my opinion, I think you might find therapy very helpful and hope for you the courage to give it a try.  I also wish you the best with your monthly breakdowns.  (THOSE SUCK!)

Take care.