Steve, you’re a thoughtful guy and I hope you receive a positive karmic reward soon. You mentioned cycles of messaging success – don’t look for patterns; it’s all random. From what I’ve learned of relationships, you have to hope for everything and count on nothing. I’m at a low point emotionally, unemployed and facing a lonely winter.
A woman from my church, on whom I had a crush a few years ago, contacted me last week and invited me on a nature hike. We had a great time, and she was flirting with me. Afterward, I helped move some furniture into her house and she hinted that we’d been on a date. I said I didn’t know whether it was or not.
I’m attracted to this one, but my heart is still with the woman from last spring and I can’t stand the thought of playing someone. My friend’s wife told me she’d done some snooping and the object of my desire is a player and a maneater. While some things she did are consistent with that, I don’t think you can reduce people to generic types. I got quite upset and argued to the contrary, and she backed down. I can see that if anything develops with Ms-Last-Spring I’ll be wary of introducing her to my friend’s wife.
I’ve always been able to count on friends shitting on me; if I rejected everyone who did that, I wouldn’t have any friends. Weird. We live in a community where people love to gossip, and my friend’s wife has suffered for that; I know she was looking out for me, so I’m letting it pass.

Steve, whatever you decide, I wish you luck. Your story about the 2nd of the two women, the one you can’t stop thinking about, is eerily similar to a situation I was in last Spring. It flatlined when school let out (she has 2 pre-teen daughters). Enough on that, this is your thread, not mine.
Re the recent woman who is flaming you over texts, clearly she was hurt, or maybe she’s just a psycho. Most people can be great and a bit awful too, as you said about your ex. Maybe you are to her what “woman #2” is to you. Every who dates has to understand that they can hurt, or be hurt by, someone else. So don’t feel guilty – you saw as soon as you could that it wouldn’t work for you, and let her down fairly gently.
Peace.

Sultana, you and your ex both have my sympathies. My advice is that you have to be “Cruel to be Kind”. Cut him out of your life completely for both of your sakes. Apparently, he lacks the strength to do so.