Dear sufferingocd:

I am late to this exchange, but I at times felt this way. If I had shouted at someone or said something mean when I was angry, I would be afraid that the other person would be angry at me and in some way dislike me. I don’t like it when people are angry at me, so I try to make sure they are okay by talking to them more about the situation. However, I have learned to let myself be angry and also let the other person to be angry. To do this, I would have to let the other person have some space. Then we can talk about it again later. I learned if we continue to talk when we are still angry, then we begin to feel that guilty feeling you mention.  When you give the person time to calm down, you also get the time to calm down and understand why are you feeling that way.

leena